Lizzie's welcome home tea party for Grock.

[lizzie]

Grock, after that image I will never be able to let myself into your shed again to help myself to tea and hot chocolate.

I wondered where all those hairs had been coming from that were on the floor.

I think I feel sick now.

[pigletwillie]

Grock, your a star.

Mrs P has long hair and as we have wooden floors everywhere, every so often we get a hair "tumbleweed" come rolling across the floor just like on a spagetti westerns.

I have a silver nitrate pen if you want me to anoint the little cuts and nicks, neater than rollie paper.

[Beccy]

Oh the fun hair/fur tumbleweed. We both have long hair (it's not fair, his goes into ringlets naturally) add in the fur from a spaniel and a German Shepard and you get fur bunnies that can damn near hop. Given where I find them, places none of us go, too small for even the springer to curl up in, I'm not sure they can't hop.

[lizzie]

Know what you mean Beccy. My daughter has long, red hair down to her waist. We have 2 cats and a dog.

I sweep the floor of fur then 2 seconds afterwards, there they are again. Tumbleweeds floating across the floor. What i want to know is how do they get into those mystery areas? Is it some sort of "tumbleweed secret agents"

"quick Number 1, let's infiltrate behind the freezer and make contact with Crumb"

I feel a conspiracy theory coming on

[The Grock in a Frock]

have now de fuzzed chest and pits,im now ready,willing and able for the vic rubbing.

[pigletwillie]

Grock - can you wait until Piglet gets off his shift - 7.00 in the morning? And by the way, you've forgotten to do your moustache and beard!

Mrs P

[The Grock in a Frock]

dam,and i took a night off work meself 2night,couldnt be bothered doing a wakeing shift with me homless mates,actually the mother inlaw was taken into hospital,and my ubby very upset,so i guess he will have to do the vic rubbing 2night,never mind ,piglets loss is joes gain.actually he'll think its his worst dreem come true so mrs pigglet,you can gab to me since your all alone

[pigletwillie]

Oh dear Grock - I hope your mum-in-law is ok. What's the matter with her?

Piglet will be very disappointed to know that you are ready and waiting for him. He's working out in the cold tonight. He could have done with something to warm him up. (I know Vics can make you feel very hot), not to mention your lovely smooth skin. He'll be calling me soon - would you like to send him a message?

Mrs P

[The Grock in a Frock]

mum inlaw might have lung cancer,still waiting for test to come back,also had 2 ltrs of fluid drained off her chest,should get the de fuzzer on HER chest come to think of it considering she smokes 40 fags a day ,she hasnt done to bad,shes 70.tell poor piglet not to work too hard,its a bugger doing nights.

[pigletwillie]

Oh dear - that is a horrible disease. Awful too for you to have to nurse her while she goes through it. Just remember that you have got friends here on the KG when things get tough.

[The Grock in a Frock]

tar chuk,im o.k its joe thats not,he's just came into the back room as i'm puffing away on a fag and give me loads.guess he's right..i did pack in for 3yrs once,we both done it together,he used to be a 40 a day man,he stayed off them,i went back on them when his brother died,4 yrs ago now,now the chest is free of tumble weed i could stick patches all over it,couldnt i

[pigletwillie]

Oh Grock - you poor thing. Being a smoker myself I know just how difficult it is to give up the stinking weed. But the more someone tells you not to, the harder it is. You have to do it for yourself don't you. I gave it up 3 years ago and after 6 months thought I could have the odd one. The odd one became the odd 2, then a minor upset so I bought 10. And so it went on. Now I'm back to where I was on 15 a day. How many do you smoke a day? My sister in law died of lung cancer and she hadn't smoked for over 25 years. An ex-neighbour died of lung cancer and she had never smoked in her life.

I know, it should be easy to stop smoking shouldn't it because we don't actually suffer pain on withdrawal like a hard-drug user would, but it's just getting through those awful cravings. Maybe we should pick a date together in the future to stop and we can support each other. What do you think?

[pigletwillie]

Keep forgetting to sign myself off as Mrs P. Piglet doesn't smoke.

Mrs P

[The Grock in a Frock]

ha! ha! arnt we bad bad girl,do you notice how we make up excuses for not giving up,like you said people who dont smoke die of lung cancer,i'm writting this whilst lighting up my last fag out of the packet,the packet has lasted since tuesday though.Joe gave me the lecture again last night and i was thinking ye o.k i know your right i'll go and get one of the pen thingies tomorrow,now im thinking i might just buy another packet.deffo think we need to build ourselves up to a day when we are gonna stop.maybe we could do it together,sounds really good to me,and when we feel like killing someone we could rar rar to each other over the puter,so what do you recon kid,you pick a day and we'll do it together,could even ask the old tart Liz to join us.

[Tigger]

You probably already know this, but I'll say it anyway. If you sign on with the Quit Smoking programme at your GP's or with your employer or wherever, you'll get some free substitutes to start with and you'll help your local PCT reach it's target. Your PCT website should have the info. If not, there's a national website too.

Gosh - Patricia Hewitt would be proud of me.