Way down in deepest England,
In Bedfordshire so fair,
There’s a place called Milton Bryan,
With fine allotments there.
On one plot there’s a fine young man,
Herbaceous, proud and bold.
On the next plot there’s a Codger
Whom OH thinks is old.
The rivalry between this pair
Was wondrous to be seen:
Who could grow the biggest spud
And who the longest bean,
Whose carrot had the longest root,
Whose broad beans tasted best.
So to settle all the arguments
They planned a little test.
The idea was they’d do a trial
On how to grow potatoes.
OH said “I’ll just use my spade.”
OC said “Rotovators!”
OH picked up his trusty spade,
And the first grassed sod he parted.
But – “Oh, what’s that?” he thought
As OC’s rotovator started.
So up and down the plots they went,
They worked the whole day through.
Never a moment’s rest they took,
The soil and compost flew.
Until at last the evening fell,
The day was almost done.
OC had done a hundred rows
And OH – just the one!
It is possible to change the names in the last verse to suit your preferences
oldherbaceous winning I mean!
