Very nosy neighbours what can I do?

[Catherine]

Our neighbours have just had their garden made into one huge patio and consequently they have raised their garden level. Now they can walk down their path at the side of the garden and look straight down into our garden. They are higher than us but it has never been a problem before.

My OH has got very stressed about this because we have always had a very private garden.

I told him before not to get worried but tonight I am in an absolute tizz. They are having a barbeque and the burner is right next to the fence and they are standing there looking down into our garden whilst they are cooking. I have just been to water some plants at the end of our garden and they all watched me walk along the path and when I turned to come back they were staring at me. It was really horrid. They did say Hiya I answered back but I was so mad I threw the watering can down and walked inside. I know it sounds silly but I am really upset because I love sitting in the garden in privacy. Sorry to moan. Just cant help it.

[oldherbaceous]

Dear Catherine, i don't know how well you get on with your neighbours, but you must tell them your feelings on the situation.

Maybe they could at least move the barbeque and just have a little consideration if they know you like your privacy.

As it happens my Mum who lives down the other end of the village had a very similar problem.
She built up the courage to tell the people about her feelings, and between them they were able to plant some shrubs that not only look very nice but also gave her the privacy that she likes.

I hope you can sort something out Catherine, but what ever you do don't brood on it as these things can soon get out of control.

Please don't take this as a lecture as it's certainly not meant to be that.

[Catherine]

Thank you OH. Our neighbours are not bothered about their privacy. As they can look into their next door neighbours garden and chat whenever they want to. We dont like that. We will chat to anyone and its not that we are anti social but in our back garden we like to be private which in 20 years it has always been. I dont think that they will understand how we feel and they also like watching tv in the garden he watches loads of sport. Last year we had to go round and ask them to switch down the sound on Coronation St as we could hear every word. We cant afford to move house and we are rural as we have no houses across from us and two minutes up the road we are in pure countryside. An thank you OH I didnt think you were delivering a lecture. We have been talking about putting in a higher fence but the concrete posts are only 5' and 5' panels in them so we cant replace the posts only the panels. I am sure we will think of something. It is just upsetting at the moment.

[oldherbaceous]

Hope you can sort something out then Catherine.

If it's your fence, maybe you could screw some timber uprights to the concrete posts, and put some trellis above the fence. You then could grow some climbers up them.

[Compo]

Yes, I agree with OH Catherine, you have to have a quiet word and tell them what remedies are acceptable...I like Corrie and soccer.....but in the garden???? One day I will tell you all what the old girl (grrrrrrr) did to our fence, but that is for another day and I do not want to hi-jack the thread

Compo

[Geoff]

You could probably cure the outdoor telly with a sprinkler "accident".

[Parsons Jack]

Hi Catherine,

Sounds like an absolute nightmare. We've had some awful neighbours over the years, so I know just how you feel. What about some reed or willow screening. It come in 2 metre high packs 4 metres long. If you raised it up a bit you could probably get it to about 7 or 8 feet high. Is that high enough Here is a link for it
http://www.wyevale.co.uk/on/demandware. ... ow?q=fence
It's available at quite a lot of places and isn't too expensive.
A nice smelly bonfire helps when they are having a bbq as well.
I like the sound of Geoff's "sprinkler accident"
Hope you get something sorted out soon.

Cheers, Parsons Jack.

[Primrose]

Catherine - I sympathise. We have neighbours on one side who regularly open their patio doors and let their pop music blare out into the garden. It always seems to happen just as we're sitting down outside to enjoy a quiet meal and listen to the birds singing. I think you'll just have to pluck up your courage, tell them how you feel, remind them that noise doesn't stop at fence boundaries and that if they can hear their music in their garden, so can the neighbours in several houses nearby. Often it's just thoughtlessness and it never occurs to people that their habits may be upsetting those around them, so a polite gentle reminder often does the trick.

[Catherine]

Thank you for all your suggestion. Unfortunately we cannot raise the height of the fence for several reasons. We have got a little sitting area by the back door which we have tried to make as private as possible so like you Primrose we can sit and enjoy a quiet meal and listen to the waterfall in our pond. They are at least 8 feet higher than us to the fence, but now they have raised their pation they can look down on us. (sorry repeating myself). My OH and me have decided we have to bring the subject up next time he stands and looks over when he is having his morning ciggy. (They dont smoke in the house). We will try and be careful in how we approach it, because they will turn up their tv if we upset them. But I still think that they are going to take things the wrong way. I will let you know how things go as I am sure we will have to say something this weekend.

[lizzie]

Sorry for your situation Catherine.....it's very annoying.

I agree with the others...tell them how you feel and try to reach a compromise.

If that fails you could take matters into your own hands. How about watering in the buff? If they say anything, just tell them they shouldn't be looking in the first place. You are in a private space and entitled to do as you wish.

I have many more suggestions like that.....not helpful I know but it would at least give you a giggle.

Good luck Catherine

[Cider Boys]

Dear Catherine

May I politely suggest that I would recommend you follow Oldherbacious's advice first.

Diplomacy is the best way and try not let your emotions get the better of you. I do hope that you can regain your peace and privacy, I know how precious they both are to me.

It is a shame that many people's' idea of a good time takes no regard for other people who appreciate peace and privacy.

Hope all works out alright for you both.

Barney

[Catherine]

Hi Lizzie Your suggestion really made us laugh. My husband, who has not long to live, suggested that if I did that they would probably both die of a heart attack. A bit over the top me thinks. If I drink enough one night I might just do it....

[Catherine]

Cider Boys I know that the best way is to be diplomatic and try and explain to them that we really value our privacy, which we have had for 20 years. But they are not the sort to really understand what we are getting at and will probably take the huff and go one of two ways. 1. No speakies 2. Loud tv, music etc. (They have retired so have all day to do what they want) All we ask is that in the evening we can sit on our patio which is south west facing and enjoy peace and quiet.

[Johnboy]

Hi Catherine,
It is such a pity that CCTV cameras are so expensive as it would be nice to put a couple on poles overlooking their garden and house and then broadcast laughter every time they appear!
Thankfully my nearest neighbour is more than half a mile away. Far enough to shout 'good morning' knowing full well that he will not hear me.
JB.

[Catherine]

Hi Johnboy How fabulous to live so far away from your nearest neighbour. I'm not anti social but I would really love not to have close neighbours. Just peace and quiet and the birds singing. Houses are too expensive round here to be able to move somewhere like that. We are on the very edge of the countryside, one minute up the road there are no houses and across the road it is all fields so we are very lucky. Just a shame about the neighbours next door. Never mind we still have our lottie.