For pet owners

[Happymouse]

A friend wants to stick this note on her front door

TO NON PET OWNERS VISITING
1. Our pets live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'nature.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need thousands of pounds for college.

And finally,

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children !

[oldherbaceous]

Dear Happymouse, do i take it from your posting that your friend is a pet lover.

[lizzie]

Have copied that and done some amendment so that it will go in my car. It's normally so muddy cos the dog likes to roll in mud on his walks.....I haven't the heart to stop him cos he's enjoying himself. The car is normally covered in dried mud and hair.

I've also put the original notice in the house....

[madasafish]

Humans , however, perform their toilet and ablutions in toilets and bathrooms.

Some animals are not house trained.. and some dogs wash their delicate anatomical parts in full view of the family:-))

[GIULIA]

It has to be said, my cat:

1) criticises my cooking
2) is hostile to all my male friends
3) is rude to neighbouring cats
4) yodels in the night
5) produces disgusting furballs
6) always uses his litter tray
when we're eating in the same room
7) jumps on my chest at 4am to tell
me he's hungry again
sits on anything I try to read
9) loves James Bond films (that's just
by the way.

but we adore him.
Giulia x

[lizzie]

My cat uses her litter box whilst we are eating. Every bloody night she does the same

She also:

1. Bites your toes if you ignor her. This is an achievment for her as she only has 2 peggies left.

2. Also has disgusting furballs

3. Habitually knocks the dog about

4. Looks at her food as if to say "if you think i'm eating that you've got another thing coming." She then eats the dogs dinner.

5. When i'm in a hurry to go out she hides in the most awkward places.

6. Sits on whatever i'm reading. When given another part of the paper to sit on, she pushes it off the sofa with her paw and resumes her original position.

7. In spite of all this, we still love her and don't mind that she is a complete oddball

For other precocious pussycats try www.mycathatesyou.com

[Primrose]

We sadly no longer have a cat, but it really used to freak me out when I put down his food, he decided he didn't like what was provided and then started performing "scratching" actions all around the dish as if he was covering up his poo.

He started doing this as a small kitten and I never could get him to break the habit.

[GIULIA]

I love the way every cat has a unique personality and funny little quirks. My next door neighbours currently have 8 cats (they got up to about 11 once - it's from being involved in a cat rescue organisation and getting left with the hard-to-home ones). Over the years I reckon they've been through over thirty cats and every single one of them was unique. Mind you, I wouldn't necessarily want to live with that many pussies, no matter how charming. One will do me nicely thankyou. My guy is a 42-inch long, 17lb Maine Coon who eats like a horse, that's enough cat for anybody.

[madasafish]

I would love a Maine Coon. But we have quails and turkeys and visiting cats... and OH likes wild birds.

When we had cats, no wild birds.. (but no mice:-)

[GIULIA]

I'm fairly sure Maine Coons are no threat to birds - they're too lumbering and slow! They were bred to catch rats originally. My guy has caught one mouse in his entire life and it took him all night. He was exhausted afterwards and had to be fed chicken breast to recover from the ordeal.
I suspect my cat is extraordinarily lazy mind you - he only goes outside to sunbathe and then only if the weather is completely perfect. His hobby is watching spiders build webs. See what I mean?