A gardener is born

[Sue]

Sorry - I have a sad life - but had to share this. I've had an allotment for a few years now but the other half got competitive and took a second one last year.

There we were on Sunday in the freezing cold, slipping around in the mud clearing the wilderness half we didn't get round to last season, when he sloped off. I discovered him gloating over his 2 compost bins (which I donated off mine & filled!). Look at this stuff he beamed and set about spreading said compost around the rhubarb. Then the old guy on the next door plot came over and asked if he could nick a bit of the rhubarb as it was the earliest & best looking in the whole allotments.

That was it - his cup runneth over and I fear I'll never hear the last of it

Sue

[nog]

Arr young love....so sweet. I don't let "her inside of the doors" on my plot now. Far too pain full. always wanting to go for a wee falling in the rain trough, being biten by the horses.

No just me and nature at one...

[The Grock in the Frock]

no! no! let him in.the competition is great.my husband was an allotment widow and decided ,if you can't beat them ,join them.he now thinks he can beat me in a local comp with his bigger onions,better tomatoes,and straighter rhubarb.he has made more friends on our plot than he has ever had in his life,and his home brew is to die for,and he's a much chilled person.

[Chantal]

I've tried persuading my partner that gardening is good but to no avail. He did help with a half hour's digging 3 years ago but since then just a photo of a spade is enough to give him lower back pain. Any of his trips to the plot involve a garden chair and the newspaper!

He's very horticulturally challenged, except with herbs, and was looking to peel and cook the seed potatoes last year. He's best kept out of it if I'm honest.

However, I'm lucky because he never complains at the time I spend there and we now have the perfect solution; I go to the lottie and he plays golf, which I hate.

[lizzie]

Trying to get The Old Man interested but no luck. As he knows nothing about gardening he has to have instructions on what to do. I do this very nicely, so that he thinks that it's his idea but he doesn't like being told what to do and the reason why things are done a certain way.

For example, I spent 2 hours spraying the weeds on the plot. He then came along and pulled the weeds up that i'd sprayed, despite being told that they should be left alone for his own saftey.

This then leads to an argument. I've given up now. He does moan when I go there but, if he wants to eat the stuff, I have to go. If he moans about the time I spend I mention that I wouldn't have to spend so long there if he came to help and did things the way that they should be done. He then shuts up.

I don't know, men. They're a completely different sex. The shame is, if he got into it he would enjoy gardening.

[Allan]

lizzie, no man and no woman really likes being told what to do. Try to get him involved in some little bit of the whole project that he can make his very own. Perhaps there are some tools or equipment that he could make or repair for you. Maybe he has a favourite flower or veg that he could have a go at. When the experts advise on getting schoolkids interested in gardening sampling ripe strawberries often does the trick. Could he choose the right ones for you or him to plant.
Allan

[lizzie]

Tried it Allan, it doesn't work. I don't tell him what to do as such. I advise him that you have to dig the whole of the bindweed plant out and not just take the tops off. The same for couch grass etc. This is what he won't listen too. Specific ways that certain problems should be dealt with.

I'd be thrilled for him to help. In fairness, he has done some heavy lifting of stuff now and again and taken some stuff up to the dump. I would be thrilled if he did more. Maybe one day he will and he will find out where the buzz of growing your own stuff comes from.

[Chantal]

I agree. Mine dug over a thistle bed without removing a single root. I had about 100 times the thistles within 6 months; but he did his best and did it for me which is what counts.

[LakeView]

Mine digs my potato trenches (the potatoes become his then!) and digs my compost holes for the squashes (Buttercup!), pumpkins and courgettes. Plus, he runs the borrowed rotovator at the start of the season, and putters around and tidies the compost bins.

He hates to admit it, but he enjoys it at times and it's good exercise. But he does 'time out' sooner than I do.

And he does dig down for the bindweed, thank goodness!

[Malk]

Mine comes out and cuts fire wood for me from time to time, not lately since he broke my ax. He sits in the sun and reads. Though he and his mates did a cracking job of tearing down my old shed and dragging away the mess, but I had to bribe them with beer and bbq. Isn't that the way with most chores.

But I don't mind. He has his hobbies, this is mine. My place where I can get away from home and do what I want. He's welcome to come, but I like that he doesn't usually.

He eats the veg though.

[Sue]

I got my other half interested via the eating the produce route. I planted all my containers to have either a mini cherry tomato or strawberry plant so he would help with the watering (snack while you work!)and it went from there.

To be fair he's always helped me with the really heavy stuff. He's a tree surgeon so help me cut back overhanging trees just before Xmas. We also did a joint effort on splitting and moving the monster mutant rhubarb creature from outer space on my plot the other week. I swear I only put in a tiny root a couple of years back

Sue a.k.a Snotty Chicken Biscuits

[Beccy]

Aren't other peoples relationships infinitely strange and wonderful? My OH does just as much as me, it's 'our' allotment. If I have a view he does it my way because he (rightly!) assumes I know more than he does. If I don't know we look it up.

But that's the allotment, if we were talking DIY or brewing the positions would be reversed. To me one of the joys of a relationship is that we bring different strengths and expertise. And what's the use of having a handy expert if you don't take their advice?

And before anybody suggests this is a ridiculously ideal view, it's been working for twenty years and counting.

[Deb P]

My husband is fine if directed to any job which involves destruction or dismembering; but we almost came to blows when putting up a greenhouse last year, the saying 'real men don't need instructions' was made for him! I think his forte is weeing in the compost bin!

[The Grock in the Frock]

ha so its not just my old man who does that

[Sue]

Pretty handy to have the old man about for the compost activating duties though - saves you climbing in the bin eh?