Tips on aging.

[lizzie]

Saw this somewhere else and thought I'd share it with you all. Enjoy

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, you're it.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy.

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:
1. You sell your home heating system at a car boot sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
3. Getting a little action means you don't need fiber today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the car park.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

Random thoughts for sharing:
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labour!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

But Most Of All, Remember -

A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra:
Hard to find and supportive

[Zena]

the biggest smile I've had today!

thanks Lizzie

[Tigger]

Lizzie - you're a star.

[Wellie]

NO ! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ME - YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T !!!

Lizzie. Oh Lizzie.... what are we going to do with you sweetheart. I think you are doing your best to send us girlies to an early grave. Unfortunately, I think it's working.
I haven't larfed like that since last week on the Morphine.........
Tears are in my eyes as I write, God Bless Your Little Cotton Sox !
LoL
Wellie
X

[richard p]

Men's Thesaurus

"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely
clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."



from a photography forum!

[peter]

Personally I prefer.

"You know you are getting old when it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.".

[Jenny Green]

Oh dear...I must be getting old...clean knickers please!

[oldherbaceous]

Dear Jenny, would that be that big baggy pair of yours.

[lizzie]

You get worse Herby, thankfully.

Maybe it's a thong

[Jenny Green]

Herby! How did you know?
You've been peeking at my washing line again haven't you.

[Piglet]

Jenny, your pants might be baggy but certainly not "big", your build like a Portugese racing sardine lad, big ones would surely just slide down

[Chantal]

You two just don't get it do you. Jenny only wears her "big" pants when she's doing her Wonder Woman shifts and she has to wear them on the OUTSIDE of her jeans.

[Jenny Green]

Yes, Chantal, they're made of red flannel too and I keep my hankerchief stuffed down them.
What a cheeky Piglet!