The state of the EU

[lizzie]

Saw this on another site and thought it was hysterical. Enjoy

The British have reacted to the recent terrorism alerts by raising their
security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may
be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not
been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies all but ran
out. Terrorists have been recategorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody
Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning
level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly"
to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to
"Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday, as is customary, and the
only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

[oldherbaceous]

I really don't know how you find the time to visit other sites with your busy lifestyle Lizzie.
But i must say you do find some pretty good jokes.

Kind regards Old Herbaceous.

Theres no fool like an old fool.

[lizzie]

I don't know how I fit it all in Herby.

Must be my masterful use of multi tasking

[jopsy]

OH wouldnt know about that-he supposedly a man

[lizzie]

Tell me about it

[jopsy]

you do make me
dh thinks i cant multi task so i dont let on i can

[lizzie]

Good girl. That means, when you "borrow" his credit card for Malvern, it couldn't possible be you cos you can't pick up pants and "borrow" card at the same time

[oldherbaceous]

Dear jopsy, what wouldn't i know about, how Lizzie fits it all in, or multi tasking.

Kind regards Old Herbaceous.

Theres no fool like an old fool.

[lizzie]

You'll get your hands and face smacked in a minute if there's anymore of your cheek Herby.

I'm putting my foot down with a firm hand!

[jopsy]

yes as usual you are quite right
pants-eewwwww who mentioned pants-oh yes, it was you

[lizzie]

Of course, you'd have to wear the regulation marigolds to hold said pants.

All the better cos no fingerprints then

[jopsy]

ewww
herby you are being rude!
smack smack

[oldherbaceous]

Dear Jopsy, i was only asking a question, i don't do rude as i've led a very sheltered life.

Kind regards Old Herbaceous.

Theres no fool like an old fool.

[jopsy]

my sincere apols dearest OH

[peter]

Of course, you'd have to wear the regulation marigolds to hold said pants.

All the better cos no fingerprints then

Especially if like one of my teenage friends you use the following definition of when to change your pants.



"When the yellow stain on the front meets the brown stain on the back and they stick to the wall when thrown at it, that is when you should change your pants."