DOUBLE DIGGING

[Geoff]

Double digging is a gardening technique where soil is dug to twice the depth of a spade, loosening the subsoil and incorporating organic matter to improve drainage and aeration. The primary goal of double digging is to create a well-drained, aerated soil bed suitable for planting. It has largely fallen out of favour in recent years with most advice now suggesting single digging, no-dig methods or avoiding digging altogether by growing plants on bare soil to provide similar or equal benefits. General rule now is where possible, limit soil disturbance to a minimum. This means not digging, forking or rotovating (tilling) soil. Doing this is proven to enhance fungal networks and nurture soil-dwelling fauna that in return improve the structure of soil. However, double digging can be useful to relieve soil compaction, solve drainage issues and incorporate well-rotted manure or garden compost into vegetable plots where deep-rooted crops will be grown.

Despite this there is good news for all you enthusiastic plot diggers out there, Double Digging has been accepted as a demonstration sport at the next Olympics to be held in Los Angeles in 2028 with a view to giving it full status in Brisbane in 2032. So get into training now!

If you haven’t heard some trial events have already taken place. The English final was held in February in Milton Bryan and eventually turned out to be close run thing when it resumed after it was interrupted by demonstrators. A group of saboteurs from “Just Stop Digging” organised by Charles Dowding attempted to halt the competition but when Henry Doubleday pointed out that the orange powder they were throwing over everyone wasn’t organic they withdrew. Henry went on to win by a spit from John Innes with Mr. Fothergill a distant third. The crowd were amazed by their performances and a gang of six council workers filling in a pothole with a mini-digger on the road past the allotments were heard to say it would take them a week with their machine to achieve the same result.

There has also been an event in Scotland near Iversod where they tried other variations. In the mixed event Ailsa “The Rock” Craig just failed to beat the eventual winner Osgood Mackenzie III. The commentator Jim McColl said he had never seen anything like it. They also tried a team event but when Albie Spear and Sam Jackson ran away with it there were objections that the equipment they used was not to the standard allowed. The American trial also descended into chaos when Johnny Appleseed got the Jolly Green Giant banned for using steroids.

The main stumbling block to it being adopted as an international then Olympic event is standardisation of the plot that has to be dug. England and Liberia want to use a plot size of 1 rod, pole or perch in line with the traditional allotment measurement of 10 rods. France and other European countries favour 25 square metres whereas Israel suggests the smaller 100 square cubits. The only common ground is that the dug areas will be set aside as community gardens to aid the mental wellbeing of the local residents.

So don’t forget, get into training now, if you can get your time below two hours you have a good chance of winning a gold spade in Brisbane on the 1st April 2032.

[oldherbaceous]

Brilliant, Geoff, I had got a fair way down before I realised…..so thank you for a good laugh…..

[Westi]

Good one Geoff!

[retropants]

Excellent!!