Door to door pain

[dan3008]

Ok, this one is laughable. This is 100% real, and at the time I was really offended, but now I'm laughing

So, I'm in one evening, having problems feeding my little girl tea, and trying to prep lunch for the next day for my wife (who works as a teacher), when there's a knock at the door. I a guy trying to sell me Virgin Media internet and phone line. So I tell him we are not interested in changing our suppler, and go to shut the door. He holds up his hand, stopping me shutting the door, primed to continue.
And this is where it gets bad... So before I continue, let me explain what he could see. I'm 24, stood there with my 18 month old baby on my hip, bags under my eyes from not getting a full nights sleep in 2 months, a 2 month beard on my chin, a big mug of coffee, and poop and vomit on my tshirt from the last 20 minutes.
So what do you think the next thing he said to me was? "Are your parents in?"
Ok, It might not sound that bad. But SERIOUSLY????
Needless to say, I slammed the door in his face and phoned Virgin Media, and informed them we were going to switch to talk talk... Yes, I was already a customer.

[peter]

[Pa Snip]

This is a sign I made up to go inside the front door, not much help if you don't have a glass panel though
It doesn't keep everyone away, the leaflet droppers for the local indian, Chinese and pizza take-away establishments can't read it seems so they ignore it, but it does stop many from ringing the bell we certainly don't get disturbed as much as we used to.

It is also easy to point to and say "Which bit didn't you understand" before closing the door.

It is in jpeg format so anyone who is of a similar frame of mind to me is welcome to save it, print it off, and use it

NO-THANKS---jpg.jpg (91.22 KiB) Viewed 4376 times

[dan3008]

thats a good one Pa, I might make something like that to put up

Although, I don't donate to the Salvation army since my local corps called social services on my daughters birthday, because of a personal upset. And when that didnt work, they lied to the police almost getting me in big trouble. but thats just my old corps, i'm sure its not a systemic issue, i just dont feel safe with them any more.

[Pa Snip]

Sorry to hear of your encounter with the local 'Sally'.
only reason we give to them is to support their work with the homeless.

Our local JW's are of course of the hardened, seasoned, campaign variety. A mere sign does not stop them.
On our last encounter their opening line was "Surely you must seek redemption" to which I replied "No, we enjoy our sins thank you" and shut the door.

[Geoff]

Yes the JWs are the seasoned campaigners, the only ones that get to us. Neighbour nearly got his dog put down as it let them in, I lost a pair of jeans to it once so they must have something! We have had one politician in 30 years here, the agent of a previous MP, the advantages of country living.

[dan3008]

haha JW are fun. Last time they came to the door I told them I was more than willing to chat about Jesus, but I'd need them to help me with the garden... I genuinely had 2 guys in JW uniform (is it a uniform or do they all just really like deep blue suits?) pulling weeds and helping me dig the garden...

Sorry to hear of your encounter with the local 'Sally'.
only reason we give to them is to support their work with the homeless.

Our 'sally bash' don't do much homeless work, or I would still support it despite personal differences. But in sheffield we have a big homeless project that the other churches support so I just give straight to that instead

[alan refail]

Though not so rural as Geoff, I tend only to get the JWs.

On a fine day it is a great joy to tie them in knots while standing outside. My record so far is and hour and a quarter, after which they made an excuse and left.

As an atheist I find I know the Bible a great deal better than they do and I have a more rational understanding of how it came to be written, whereas they just think it is a single script handed down as is!

Great to get them on Leviticus and ask whether they like prawns or wear clothes of mixed fabrics, or, even better, whether they grow more than a single crop on one piece of land! All strictly forbidden, of course! They usually admit these rules are new to them, at which I point out that there's little point in claiming the Bible is 100% true if they don't even know what's in it.

[alan refail]

[Pa Snip]

@ Alan's cartoon post

I like that a lot.

[alan refail]

[alan refail]

[dan3008]

On a fine day it is a great joy to tie them in knots while standing outside. My record so far is and hour and a quarter, after which they made an excuse and left.

1h 15min???? and I thought having them do my gardening for 20 min was a record... Guess your's are a bit more hardened than the ones round me lol.

As an atheist I find I know the Bible a great deal better than they do and I have a more rational understand of how it came to be written, whereas they just think it is a single script handed down as is!

As a Christian, I think I'd have to agree with you. Too many Christians think the bible was passed down as a whole script... No, Its written by real people, and is (in the main) their interpretation of events

Great to get them on Leviticus ... there's little point in claiming the Bible is 100% true if they don't even know what's in it.

ah Leviticus. Indeed, thats a fun one to get people with

[snooky]

76
things
banned
in
Leviticus

Here’s chapter and verse on a more-or-less comprehensive list of things banned in the Leviticus book of the bible. A decent number of them are punishable by death.

Unless you’ve never done any of them (and 54 to 56 are particularly tricky), perhaps it’s time to lay off quoting 18:22 for a while?

1. Burning any yeast or honey in offerings to God (2:11)

2. Failing to include salt in offerings to God (2:13)

3. Eating fat (3:17)

4. Eating blood (3:17)

5. Failing to testify against any wrongdoing you’ve witnessed (5:1)

6. Failing to testify against any wrongdoing you’ve been told about (5:1)

7. Touching an unclean animal (5:2)

8. Carelessly making an oath (5:4)

9. Deceiving a neighbour about something trusted to them (6:2)

10. Finding lost property and lying about it (6:3)

11. Bringing unauthorised fire before God (10:1)

12. Letting your hair become unkempt (10:6)

13. Tearing your clothes (10:6)

14. Drinking alcohol in holy places (bit of a problem for Catholics, this ‘un) (10:9)

15. Eating an animal which doesn’t both chew cud and has a divided hoof (cf: camel, rabbit, pig) (11:4-7)

16. Touching the carcass of any of the above (problems here for rugby) (11:8)

17. Eating – or touching the carcass of – any seafood without fins or scales (11:10-12)

18. Eating – or touching the carcass of - eagle, the vulture, the black vulture, the red kite, any kind of black kite, any kind of raven, the horned owl, the screech owl, the gull, any kind of hawk, the little owl, the cormorant, the great owl, the white owl, the desert owl, the osprey, the stork, any kind of heron, the hoopoe and the bat. (11:13-19)

19. Eating – or touching the carcass of – flying insects with four legs, unless those legs are jointed (11:20-22)

20. Eating any animal which walks on all four and has paws (good news for cats) (11:27)

21. Eating – or touching the carcass of – the weasel, the rat, any kind of great lizard, the gecko, the monitor lizard, the wall lizard, the skink and the chameleon (11:29)

22. Eating – or touching the carcass of – any creature which crawls on many legs, or its belly (11:41-42)

23. Going to church within 33 days after giving birth to a boy (12:4)

24. Going to church within 66 days after giving birth to a girl (12:5)

25. Having sex with your mother (18:7)

26. Having sex with your father’s wife (18:8)

27. Having sex with your sister (18:9)

28. Having sex with your granddaughter (18:10)

29. Having sex with your half-sister (18:11)

30. Having sex with your biological aunt (18:12-13)

31. Having sex with your uncle’s wife (18:14)

32. Having sex with your daughter-in-law (18:15)

33. Having sex with your sister-in-law (18:16)

34. Having sex with a woman and also having sex with her daughter or granddaughter (bad news for Alan Clark) (18:17)

35. Marrying your wife’s sister while your wife still lives (18:18)

36. Having sex with a woman during her period (18:19)

37. Having sex with your neighbour’s wife (18:20)

38. Giving your children to be sacrificed to Molek (18:21)

39. Having sex with a man “as one does with a woman” (18:22)

40. Having sex with an animal (18:23)

41. Making idols or “metal gods” (19:4)

42. Reaping to the very edges of a field (19:9)

43. Picking up grapes that have fallen in your vineyard (19:10)

44. Stealing (19:11)

45. Lying (19:11)

46. Swearing falsely on God’s name (19:12)

47. Defrauding your neighbour (19:13)

48. Holding back the wages of an employee overnight (not well observed these days) (19:13)

49. Cursing the deaf or abusing the blind (19:14)

50. Perverting justice, showing partiality to either the poor or the rich (19:15)

51. Spreading slander (19:16)

52. Doing anything to endanger a neighbour’s life (19:16)

53. Seeking revenge or bearing a grudge (19:18)

54. Mixing fabrics in clothing (19:19)

55. Cross-breeding animals (19:19)

56. Planting different seeds in the same field (19:19)

57. Sleeping with another man’s slave (19:20)

58. Eating fruit from a tree within four years of planting it (19:23)

59. Practising divination or seeking omens (tut, tut astrology) (19:26)

60. Trimming your beard (19:27)

61. Cutting your hair at the sides (19:27)

62. Getting tattoos (19:28)

63. Making your daughter prostitute herself (19:29)

64. Turning to mediums or spiritualists (19:31)

65. Not standing in the presence of the elderly (19:32)

66. Mistreating foreigners – “the foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born” (19:33-34)

67. Using dishonest weights and scales (19:35-36)

68. Cursing your father or mother (punishable by death) (20:9)

69. Marrying a prostitute, divorcee or widow if you are a priest (21:7,13)

70. Entering a place where there’s a dead body as a priest (21:11)

71. Slaughtering a cow/sheep and its young on the same day (22:28)

72. Working on the Sabbath (23:3)

73. Blasphemy (punishable by stoning to death) (24:14)

74. Inflicting an injury; killing someone else’s animal; killing a person must be punished in kind (24:17-22)

75. Selling land permanently (25:23)

76. Selling an Israelite as a slave (foreigners are fine) (25:42)

[robo]

Not much fun left if you follow that lot