New joke thread to cheer you all up

A place to chat about anything you like, including non-gardening related subjects. Just keep it clean, please!

Moderators: KG Steve, Chantal, Tigger, peter, Chief Spud

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Diane
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Wonderful :lol:
'Preserve wildlife - pickle a rat'
robo
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$200 seems a bit steep for one night she must be good :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Gerry
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You know about these things, do you Robo. :oops:

Regards,
Gerry.
robo
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It was my wife who told me.









Got you all thinking now ha ha
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Shallot Man
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Is robo speaking from experience. :wink:
Gerry
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robo wrote:It was my wife who told me.


Got you all thinking now ha ha



STOP DIGGING !!! You're getting deeper.
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Primrose
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Young girl walks into a supermarket and on her way round she sees the bloke with whom she had sex the previous evening, after they met in a pub.

He is stacking washing powder boxes on shelves.

"You lying sod!" she yells. "Last night you told me you were a stunt pilot!"

"No," he says, "I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team."
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Diane
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What is small, red and whispers? – A hoarse radish.
'Preserve wildlife - pickle a rat'
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Primrose
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Referring to the comments in the Autumn Bits and Bobs threads, maybe this is how you play it.....
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Primrose
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THE SNOOTY DOCTOR's RECEPTIONIST

Yesterday I had an appointment with the oncologist for a prostate scan. Naturally i was rather nervous.
The waiting room was full of patients. As I approached the Reception desk I noticed the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who resembled a Sumo wrestler. I gave her my name.

In a very loud voice she said YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME. YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"

All the patients in the waiting room immediately snapped their heads up to stare at me, a now very embarrassed man. But I quickly recovered and in an equally loud voice replied

" NO, I HAVE COME ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR WHO DID YOURS"

The Waiting Room erupted in very loud applause.

DON'T MESS WITH OLD RETIRED GUYS!
robo
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I was just asked by a young lady whether I am a breast or leg man when I replied I was more of a shaved pube area person she got very upset


Seems it's not the expected answer in KFC
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Shallot Man
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robo. Now that,s my kind of humor.
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dan3008
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I have the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from London zoo
Once the game is over the king and the pawn go back in the same box. Anonymous

Exploring is like walking, where the walking decides where we're going. Bob the dinosaur from dinopaws
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Primrose
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The Death of Conversation
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Pa Snip
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The danger when people start to believe their own publicity is that they often fall off their own ego.

At least travelling under the guise of the Pa Snip Enterprise gives me an excuse for appearing to be on another planet
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