Pub humour

[JohnN]

Oh, I do love the way some pub conversations go!
Posh man in snug bar, with lovely little dachshund on extending lead. Dog pulls out lead from where man is sitting, reaches my stool at bar and pees on leg of stool. Bar goes quiet, posh man very embarrassed, but barmaid says “Don’t worry, I’ll clean it up in a moment”. Customer says “That’s not a very posh dog”. Owner says “I’ll have you know I paid £1,200 for that dog!”. Customer says to barmaid “Quick, give me a cloth, I’ll mop it up – fetch something on e-bay, that will”. Barmaid grins, “Don’t you mean p-bay”.

[Ricard with an H]

Could this thread be a tilt at out-of-control/irresponsible dog owners.

I hope so.

And it could be even-more amusing, I just saw a dog having a poo on someones foot. Two groups of pals, one group had a dog desperate for a shXXte but no-one took any notice as they-all got into a huge Huggy/conversation.

The group only realised what had happened when they spotted me smiling.

[JohnN]

No, sorry to disappoint you, Ricard. I wasn't having a tilt at anyone- the dog has been in many times, is well liked by customers and has never done that before. The only reason the owner let the lead out was that everyone likes to pet the dog.

[Motherwoman]

I was listening to a very boring conversation at another table in the pub (love a bit of eaves dropping), some yachtie chap extoling the virtues of a particularly attractive harbour in New Zealand which had a fabulous little shop which sold local un-paralysed milk.....

Almost as good was the conversation pre-trial of Rolf Harris between two elderly ladies who were both absolutely certain he couldn't have done 'anything like that' as he'd painted the Queen's portrait! What sort of logic is that?

In case you're wondering I like to do a bit of fiction writing when I have the time and pub conversations can really get the imagination going. Both the above are not fiction.

MW

[oldherbaceous]

Dear Motherwoman, if you ever get short of ideas for your writings, i have the most vivid and wildest imagination that you are likely to have come across....although you have probably already noticed that...

[Motherwoman]

You're a whole novel all on your own OH, possible a bit steamy, after all who doesn't remember the socks incident....

[peter]

Mmmm, the time when the local equivalent of the SWAT team rang me from my office at 01:30am..,,

[Geoff]

Well there was our neighbour prattling on about his fine Labrador bitch at one of our barbecues and when he said he had decided not to breed with her I couldn't resist.

[peter]

Well there was our neighbour prattling on about his fine Labrador bitch at one of our barbecues and when he said he had decided not to breed with her I couldn't resist.

Geoff, that was rather bestial of you.

[retropants]

Well there was our neighbour prattling on about his fine Labrador bitch at one of our barbecues and when he said he had decided not to breed with her I couldn't resist.

*snork*