Lies, damned lies and adverts!

[alan refail]

Just a minor rant this fine sunny morning.

I have no great problem with adverts. Since they mostly seem to be for products for superannuated American actresses to slap on their faces, or cars nobody wants or can afford, I tend to go comatose for the time commercial breaks last.

But I was jerked awake last night by a Hellman's advert which claimed that theirs was "The original mayonnaise". Now, whether you can face the stuff or not (personally I can't stand it), this is an entirely new use of the word "original". Rather as if Bernard Matthews were to claim that Turkey Twizzlers were "The Original Turkey Dinner"!

The "original" mayonnaise is simply a stable emulsion of egg yolk and oil (preferably olive oil) and a little wine vinegar or lemon juice. I add a bit of mustard and horseradish to mine for flavour. And, by the way, using an electric mixer, it takes less than five minutes to make, and will keep in the fridge for a week.

What food adverts/slogans/claims get up your nose?

Rant over - off out to let the poultry out and enjoy the sun.

[oldherbaceous]

Good morning Alan, and what a beautiful morning it as well.

I'm so pleased you found it in yourself to be able to share these troubles with us all, that's what we are here for.

I can't really think of one advert in particular, it's just the lot of them that annoy me.

[Geoff]

I like them all - I regard them as the list of "What not to buy".

[oldherbaceous]

Now that, is a good way to look at it Geoff.

[FelixLeiter]

I love the ads. It's the only reason I'll watch ITV. Forgot the programmes. And I love the jingles. We'll take them with us to the grave. Altogether now: "If you want a lot of chocolate on your biscuit, join our Club".

But the Original Mayonnaise in this case is referring to it being made to the original Hellmann's recipe, as opposed to the low-cal version they do, or one with garlic in, or tomato or whatever other ingredient combination (but that might be Heinz, but you get the picture). Mayonnaise was invented on Menorca, don't you know (Mahonnaise).

"I'm a secret lemonade drinker."

[alan refail]

Another "slogan" from Hellmans:

So get everyone round the table, relax, and enjoy. This is the stuff real life is made of.

God! I hope not!

[glallotments]

Did you see the TV programme What's Really in our Food last week that focused on this sort of thing?

They made a really nasty pie look good by calling it traditional etc. They also said a certain stores salmon mislead people into thinking it came from a part of Scotland that didn't exist.

[alan refail]

But the Original Mayonnaise in this case is referring to it being made to the original Hellmann's recipe, as opposed to the low-cal version they do, or one with garlic in, or tomato or whatever other ingredient combination .

On a pedantic note, Felix, that would be a definition of the phrase "The Original Hellman's Mayonnaise". Misleading is lying - or near enough.

Glallotments

No I didn't see the programme, but will try to catch it if it comes round again. Have a look at the ingredients section of the Hellman's website, and spot all the "good" buzzwords. Have a look too at their Other ingredients page, which is a bit "small printish".

[glallotments]

On the TV programme they put the ingredients of the pie in small print on the back of the packet - the actual ingredients e.g. gristle etc - in small print. The presenter asked if the designers printed them small so people wouldn't notice but they said it was the standard size.

They also put an etching of a traditional cottage and called it a Laburnum Cottage Pie. Which was where the presenter said he lived. The etching wasn't his cottage though. They also took his photograph saying that a picture of the producer always went down well.

When he took the pie onto the streets most people didn't look at the back and said the pie looked very appealing. When he turned over the packaging and pointed to the ingredients they changed their minds!!

[alan refail]

Glallotments

Laburnum pie. Yum, yum, arghhh................

[Primrose]

I think the TV adverts which really annoy me the most are these dreadful ones for costmetics and health drinks which claim the active ingredients are nanazomes, chromosomes, probiotics and all kinds of other words I've never heard of. I'm sure they employ a group of advertising agency whizzos to sit round a table to invent these words, unless somebody is a Scrabble fanatic and claims it as the winning word!

[glallotments]

Have you noticed the ads for cosmetics that reduce wrinkles always feature women who will have never seen a wrinkle in their lives YET?!!! 30 somethings.

[peter]

Have you noticed the ads for cosmetics that reduce wrinkles always feature women who will have never seen a wrinkle in their lives YET?!!! 30 somethings.

I thought Jane Fonda was still in her twenties.

[oldherbaceous]

Dear Peter, we expect to see you in the next Specsavers advert then.

[Primrose]

Yes, he'll be the one shearing the sheepdog instead of the sheep!