A friend of mine having trouble with his phone contacted the BT helpline and was put through to the inevitable voice in darkest India, or somewhere.
"What's wrong, sir"
"I've got a crackling on the line".
"Sorry, sir, what is meaning of crackling"
"A noise like bacon frying" he replied in all innocence.
At which point the phone was put down at the other end!
Help-line?
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