Kitchen Garden Forum

Update on Banking crisis... news from Japan

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on HBOS in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.

In the last 7 hours Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

Oh for goodness' sake.....

Thats a really good laugh, Chantal.
Nice to have a bit of light relief as I sit here on a wet morning wondering what to do with my virtually worthless Halifax and BB share certificates. Perhaps they will come in useful for lighting the fire! Do they compost?

John

Dear Chantal, you of all people.

Looks as if my biscuit tin on the shelf wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Hi Chantal,
That got me rocking!!
JB.

Hi Chantal
Our Priest read that out at church the weekend I thought it was a joke.
Bren

Due to the credit crunch, me and the family are not going to go to the Mediteranean this year. Instead we are going to recreate it at home. I am well ahead with my arrangements.

We will start the pretend holiday by us all going out in my car with the air conditioning off and sit in the sun for five hours to recreate the holiday jams we customarily start with.

I have filled the paddling pool with sand for us all to sit in, along with a few used condoms and half filled cans of lager. The space is a bit bigger than what we are used to but we will have to make do.

I am going to insist that, in my local shop, unless I speak Spanish fluently he will charge me twice as much as normal.

The wife is to be allowed to spend on a wardrobe to replace the clothes she has not worn since last year (but now "do not fit"), which I will take away from her as pretend lost-luggage and only give back at the end of the first week.

I have arranged for a few of my neighbours to stare and follow my 14 year old daughter when she ventures out on her own.

Finally, the wife has promised, halfway through, to pick a fight over some pointless matter we will not remember the subject of two weeks later so the whole family can sit in broody silence for the remainder of the holiday.

I found this one.........and think it's pretty accurate

Alan that was brilliant I had to read it through twice I thought it was so funny and in some cases true to family holiday life (not ours but a friend of ours)

alan refail wrote:

Orffffff with his 'ead

Like it Alan, like it. It appeals to my subversive sense of humour

Russia's where all the money is according to financial news just in.

Russian Banks seem to be bucking the trend and going from strength to
strength:

Although journalists could find no one from Balalaikabank to comment
because they were unsure who is pulling the strings. The CEO of
Vodkabank said his staff were in high spirits. Hermitage Bank of St
Petersburg said that they were about to move into new headquarters,
because the present ones "are like a museum." The CEO of Georgia Bank
was unavailable for comment, saying he had something on his mind.

However, the boss of the Kalashnikov Bank was more forthcoming,
inviting journalists to ask questions with the words "fire away."
Shares in Cossack Bank went up half a Rouble on the news that a new
CEO was about to climb into the saddle.

The Chairman of Volga Bank reported that things were flowing along
nicely. The only bad news on the Russian stockmarket was that
Borschbank's shares dropped 5% on rumours that the company has landed
in the soup. No one was available at the Samovar Bank, because all the
staff were on a tea break.