A woman was growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while at the allotment she came upon a gentlemen neighbour who had the most beautiful allotment full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentleman, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?"
The gentleman responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."
Well, the woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best.
One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, How did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"
"No" she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous!"
Ripening Tomatoes
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oldherbaceous
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Dear Stephen, now that has brightened a dark and wet morning, very funny. 
Kind Regards, Old Herbaceous.
There's no fool like an old fool.
There's no fool like an old fool.