At the moment this is the best I could find to keep our spirits up:
Q: How many gardeners does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to have a debate about whether this is the right time of year to be putting in lightbulbs or daffodil bulbs.
I'm sure we can do better than this.
A bit of light for the dark days - bulb planting
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alan refail
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Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
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alan refail
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Just found some more - sure to annoy someone - I hope not.
Letters - Lightbulb Jokes Vegan Views 67 (Winter 1994/95)
From the VV67 Letters page... A New Light on Veganism.
Dear Readers,
I understand someone wrote in asking for a lightbulb joke about vegans. Speaking as the owner of what is probably the world's largest collection of lightbulb jokes, currently standing at around 600 questions with 850 answers, I guess I must be something of an authority on the subject. As far as I know, no one has ever succeeded in making up a truly funny answer to the question: "How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?" I'm hoping someone else will prove me wrong. In the meantime, I offer the following answers, none of which are outstandingly witty:
A. 1) Two. One to take the old bulb out and one to check the ingredients on the new one.
A. 2) Ten. One to take the old bulb out and 9 to stand around discussing what they all want to do next.
A. 3) Six. One to change it and 5 to sit around in the hot tub discussing the environmental impact.
A. 4) None. It's society that needs to change, not the lightbulb.
A. 5) Three. One to change it, one to point out that Thorn lighting is part of Thorn EMI, and one to look up Thorn EMI in the Ethical Consumer and discover (horrors!) that they're involved in testing software on mainframes or making farms for 3rd World potatoes or something...
A. 6) Ten again. One to change it and 9 to go on the march protesting about the nuclear plant that powers it.
A. 7) Two again. One to change it and one to phone around and cancel the party they were going to have to celebrate that it had been burning brightly for 50 years.
A.
Dozens and dozens to go round selling raffle tickets so they can afford to buy a new one.
A. 9) None. Because someone might come into the room who likes to sit in the dark, or
A. 10) None. They are all far too busy whining about what an atrocious animal welfare copout the "Freedom Foods" thing is.
I could also modify countless other answers which are currently paired with questions about New Agers, feminists, Californians, CND supporters, environmentalists, New Men, and the like.
Cheers,
BRIAN
Get searching.
Letters - Lightbulb Jokes Vegan Views 67 (Winter 1994/95)
From the VV67 Letters page... A New Light on Veganism.
Dear Readers,
I understand someone wrote in asking for a lightbulb joke about vegans. Speaking as the owner of what is probably the world's largest collection of lightbulb jokes, currently standing at around 600 questions with 850 answers, I guess I must be something of an authority on the subject. As far as I know, no one has ever succeeded in making up a truly funny answer to the question: "How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?" I'm hoping someone else will prove me wrong. In the meantime, I offer the following answers, none of which are outstandingly witty:
A. 1) Two. One to take the old bulb out and one to check the ingredients on the new one.
A. 2) Ten. One to take the old bulb out and 9 to stand around discussing what they all want to do next.
A. 3) Six. One to change it and 5 to sit around in the hot tub discussing the environmental impact.
A. 4) None. It's society that needs to change, not the lightbulb.
A. 5) Three. One to change it, one to point out that Thorn lighting is part of Thorn EMI, and one to look up Thorn EMI in the Ethical Consumer and discover (horrors!) that they're involved in testing software on mainframes or making farms for 3rd World potatoes or something...
A. 6) Ten again. One to change it and 9 to go on the march protesting about the nuclear plant that powers it.
A. 7) Two again. One to change it and one to phone around and cancel the party they were going to have to celebrate that it had been burning brightly for 50 years.
A.
Dozens and dozens to go round selling raffle tickets so they can afford to buy a new one.
A. 9) None. Because someone might come into the room who likes to sit in the dark, or
A. 10) None. They are all far too busy whining about what an atrocious animal welfare copout the "Freedom Foods" thing is.
I could also modify countless other answers which are currently paired with questions about New Agers, feminists, Californians, CND supporters, environmentalists, New Men, and the like.
Cheers,
BRIAN
Get searching.
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alan refail
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And how many gardeners does it take to change a sunflower 
http://photos1.blogger.com/photoInclude ... G_3855.jpg
Promise I'll stop now.
Alan
http://photos1.blogger.com/photoInclude ... G_3855.jpg
Promise I'll stop now.
Alan
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Chantal
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Alan, you're talking to yourself! 
One for Captain Carrot
Q:How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to change the bulb and one to issue a rejection slip to the old bulb.
One for Captain Carrot
Q:How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to change the bulb and one to issue a rejection slip to the old bulb.
Chantal
I know this corner of the earth, it smiles for me...
I know this corner of the earth, it smiles for me...
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Mr Potato Head
Q: How many web designers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, as they have developed a great new interface that allows the user to change it themselves!
A: None, as they have developed a great new interface that allows the user to change it themselves!
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peter
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alan refail wrote:As far as I know, no one has ever succeeded in making up a truly funny answer to the question: "How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?" I'm hoping someone else will prove me wrong.
Tongue firmly in cheek.
"None, because a true vegan would not understand the concept of a lightbulb."
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/