THE Christmas Party is here.

[peter]

Christmas lights set to cascade mode.
Sprout vol-au-von tray on the table.
Deep-fried Parsnip sticks in a tub.
Kosher/halal sausages on a stick.
Lashings & lashings of Ginger Beer from Mrs Biggerdyke's Grotto for Wellie.
Single malt for Piglet.
Choice of spirits and beers for all.
Freshly squeezed fruit juices for more.
Comfy chair for JB.
Large picture of Lady Lettuce for Oldherbaceous to yearn at.
Louder music for Lizzie for later.
Scale ointment and large bed of flameproof straw for Grock.
Quiet corner with no heavy lifting for Compo.
Monty Python's five minute or half an hour room for Allan and JB to use later.
Large empty table for all the extra nibble brought by guests, should be interesting.
Last of the '87 logs on the fire.


Seasonal music from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izEX8gUMGm0b


Right who's going to turn up?

Fancy dress please, describe your outfit on arrival and guess what other guests are by their own description, owning-up at 11.

P.S. Wellie, you are in charge of the party games, he says anxiously.

[peter]

Hello, oh it's you lot.
Hmmm, wait over there behind that bush , she'll be along soon, she was a bit impatient earlier.



Papparazzi waiting for Chantal's arrival.

[Chantal]

Hi Peter

This may be incoherent as I'm trying to watch the Christopher Lloyd tribute on BBC2; the timing of this party is NOT good! I think it may be quiet for a while. In fact, I'll be in bed before the unveiling as I've had three nights of being awake (and/or up and driving) since 3am, yawn... As a result I'll wear a very easy to identify outfit.

I'm wearing a green leafy outfit in a spherical design and have an air freshener to hand...

What music are we going for? Chamber music perhaps?

[peter]

Right, finishing touches to my outfit.
String round the knee's, dried mud on the boots and tousle the hair.

[Chantal]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, you're Old Herbaceous

[peter]

This party I will be mostly not Oldherbaceous.

Your a pea?

[Chantal]

Close but no cigar...

You could be Wurzel Gummidge I suppose. or the local rat catcher.

[peter]

A Glade perhaps?

[Chantal]

A what? The air freshener is an essential accessory, not the flippin' disguise.

I'm on the rioja, and you?

[peter]

Glenfiddich Solera special 15 year aged reserve.

Doh , your a sprout aren't you, you old cabbage .

[Chantal]

You guessed; I thought that would keep you guessing for hours

What about you though; "...cup of tea and a thlice cake Aunt Thally?"

[peter]

No, definately a real person from a small country.

[richard p]

just to set the mood

A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his
regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting all alone at a nearby
table.
He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of
Merlot to be sent over to her, knowing that, if she accepts it, she is
his.
The waiter gets the bottle and quickly brings it over to the woman,
saying this is from the gentleman over there.
She looks at the wine and sends a note over to the man.

Her note reads:
"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your
garage, a million dollars in the bank, and seven inches in your pants."
The man, after reading her note, chuckles, and sends a note of his
own back to her.

His note reads:
"Just so you know, I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850,
and a Mercedes 600 SL, in my garage. I have over twenty five million
dollars in the bank. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would
I cut
three inches off. JUST SEND THE BOTTLE BACK."





Men are like.....
1. Men are like ..Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like.....Bananas ....... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ......Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like ......Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like .Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ......Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .....Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like .......Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like... Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like .Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots ......... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.



see ya later

[Chantal]

Bilbo Baggins? Oh. he's not real is he... a real, real person from a real country?

[peter]

I'll give too much away if I answer that correctly.

The weather forecasts in this country are a bit predictable and everything happaens really quickly.