Kitchen Garden Forum

When.
22nd December?

What medium.
Named thread?

Any particular theme.
Spuds and sprouts?

Better suggestions please.

Oldherbaceous, Nota Bene, Lady Lettuce is NOT up for us visiting her place.

Dear peter, i'm easy, shame about Lady Lettuce though.

Party? Yes please. I'll be late though 'cos it's our local Carol service that evening. See you after the mulled wine and mince pies.

What time? Or is it an all day event?

Dear peter, i'm easy,

So I'd heard OH

Count me in.

Dear Chantal, you are in big trouble with me now, i've just sprayed the laptop with tea, very good indeed you naughty person you.

Peter i'll bring a big bunch of mistletoe.

Just to get in the party mood, here's the worst joke I've heard in a long time.

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden.....

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet".

"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee".


So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!!

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".

"Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don'forget".

"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell of bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".

And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"

"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree....


Ees.....



Ees.....




Ees.....








Ees a hambush"

I thought it was going to be a bad one, but that was awful Chantal.

Gave me a chuckle Chantel - thanks.
Beryl.

Am I allowed to post a naughty one?
If not you have my permission to delete it.

Onions & Christmas Trees
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many
kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts. In her twenties, a
women's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to
forties, they are like pears,
still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are
there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through
three phases - each like a
different type of tree.
In his twenties, he is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his
thirties and forties, it is a
birch, flexible but reliable.
After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration

When we moved we brought the christmas tree in its with us and planted it. Now it is at least twice as tall as me and twice as beautiful.
Back to your jokes.

Chantal,
I read the joke and then repeated it to Mark. He says its dire!
I`m suprised you couldnt hear him groaning from your house.
Thanks for the giigle
Seedling

Chantal,

That was really great

Keep 'em comming

Losos, don't you encourage her, and as for you Beryl but very funny, strange how some trees seem to better in certain bits of the country though, Bedfordshire seems to grow some of the best trees.

Chantal, the oldies are definitely still 'the oldies' aren't they ? GOD that's old..!
Beryl, simply loved it.
Peter, you're reminding me now of Radio 2, as the best of us know and love....in the stylie of the lovely "Janet and John".

Peter, decides to throw a PARTY. Good old Peter...!
Peter is EXCITED today. See Peter jump up and down in his new flowery shirt.and comfy shorts.
Do YOU know what a FOP is ?!
Wellie does. See Wellie plait Peter's hair and put ribbons in to match the Christmas Decorations in Mrs. Bickerdyke's grotto.

Brilliant idea Peter, and we look forward to it lots.

see Paulie run. Run Paulie run.