One day, a Smartie and a Polo were enjoying a quiet drink in a bar.
The bar door opened, and in walked a Humbug.
"Oh hell" shouted the Polo, diving underneath the table.
"What are you doing?" said the Smartie.
"That humbug always slaps me and bullies me whenever I see him, so I'm hiding", said the Polo.
"You should stand up to him" said the Smartie. "He'll respect you if you do".
Sure enough, the humbug walks over and gives the Polo a smack.
"Piss off you stripy moron, or I'll knock you out" said Polo.
"Whoah, no problem Polo mate, leave it" said Humbug.
Next night Polo & Smartie are sitting in the bar, when Humbug walks in with his friend, Tune.
"Oh hell" shouted Polo, diving underneath the table.
"What are you doing?" shouted Smartie, "I know you told me to stand up to bullies, but he's with Tune" said Polo.
"So?" said Smartie.
"He's totally menthol!"
A joke for the weekend
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Compo
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The balloon family were all sat down to baby balloon's 5th Birthday Party. Mummy Balloon said..
Now you are five, 'you can sleep in your own bed and not in between Dad and I, your too big for all that'
After tea baby balloon climbed into his bed, which was too big, too cold and too lumpy, so when his parents were asleep he crept into their room, and tried to get in between his parents, but realised he was now too big to fit in their bed
Quietly he let some air our of his head, his Dad's head and his Mum's head so they all shrunk ot fit in the same bed.
In the morning Mummy balloon woke up to realise what had happened, she prodded and poked baby balloon and said
'You have been very naughty.................
...... 'you have let yourself down, you've let your father down and you've let me down'
From my 11 year old Compo Junior
Now you are five, 'you can sleep in your own bed and not in between Dad and I, your too big for all that'
After tea baby balloon climbed into his bed, which was too big, too cold and too lumpy, so when his parents were asleep he crept into their room, and tried to get in between his parents, but realised he was now too big to fit in their bed
Quietly he let some air our of his head, his Dad's head and his Mum's head so they all shrunk ot fit in the same bed.
In the morning Mummy balloon woke up to realise what had happened, she prodded and poked baby balloon and said
'You have been very naughty.................
...... 'you have let yourself down, you've let your father down and you've let me down'
From my 11 year old Compo Junior
If I am not on the plot, I am not happy.........
there was a little boy throwing stones into his neighbours garden
he was nearly hitting the greenhouse
the owner of the greenhouse came out to talk with the lad about not throwing stones and to warn him about his greenhouse
'i'll teach you to throw stones at my greenhouse' he shouted
'i wish you would' said the rascal 'cos i keep missing!'
i actually won a curly wurly joke book for that when i was 11!
he was nearly hitting the greenhouse
the owner of the greenhouse came out to talk with the lad about not throwing stones and to warn him about his greenhouse
'i'll teach you to throw stones at my greenhouse' he shouted
'i wish you would' said the rascal 'cos i keep missing!'
i actually won a curly wurly joke book for that when i was 11!
"Happiness is the sense that one matters"