Kitchen Garden Forum

anyhow - as the Monty thread has got a little heated. Back to the gardening gear from an alternative reality. I went to a country fair recently and there was a stall selling bright red or blue canvas fisherman's smocks with a pocket in the front and wait for it......a hole centre placed, so you could put your ball of string in the pocket, feed it through and become your own mobile string dispenser All for a bargain price of around £60 Like you would

What's your best spot for dodgy gardening gear

Sue

For not much more than your smock I can do the whole very dodgy ensemble for you at my local Army Surplus Store.

Combat trousers.
Under £20.
Loads of pockets, reinforced knee and other bits. Sometimes cold weather versions that are lined, so comfy for frosty digging.
Drawstring on the bottom of each leg so you can tie them just above your ankle, but below the top of your;

German Army Paratrooper boots, more leather than a cow can produce, come six about inches above the ankle, tougher than you could imagine. Under £25.

Coats with more pockets than you could shake a stick at, sleeves which have velcro closer/tighteners on the wrist. Rollup hood in the collar for when it rains and for under £30 usually.

Cheap, tough, doesn't matter if it gets filthy beyond the washing machines ability to remove the stain and the OH doesn't worry about it.

Oh and can come in a tasteful range of colours, green & brown, blues, white & black, desert, russian spot pattern, khaki.

So fashionable Trinny
Oh yes Susannah.

Remember to top it off with a balaclava when you visit that nice Mr Straw or the local bank and you won't go wrong.

Those combat's with drawstring ankles would stop the rats shinning up your trouser legs too. Especially useful in your greenhouse Peter.

I bought a load of quilted body warmers for £3 each at our local military etc surplus contractor..they were manufactured by HM Prisons.....I have one for best...and then various grades down to torn and ripped for days battling with thorny subjects...

Meanwhile I have an old brown St Michael coat that comes out on winter days that was in fact purchased to go over my school blazer..that was a day or two ago....
This old coat has patches at where the sleeves join and over various other snags...and I must look a right hero in it..but it is a dear old friend...it matters not if I wade through bushes in it and it comes out all green and wet..it hangs by the stove and dries out ready for the next day..!!
I once had a better waxed coat that I went chainsawing in....the sawdust got in the material and it went mouldy...it became absolutely rank...and despite many attempts to rid it of the stench it was a failure....

To match the old brown coat I have an ancient light green woolly hat that was hanging on a nail in the shed when I arrived at my current work...it too is now a good old friend...it fits perfectly to the head without being too tight or too loose..I can't abide head strangling hats..escept on sub zero temp days. I think the hat is possibly a reject prop from Last of the Summer Wine....and the coat adds to the effect..

Clive.

We have a guy at our site who is quite charming but oh his CLOTHES! His shirt is unbelievable as he NEVER washes it, just wears one untill it gives in and then uses another one. An annual event I understand. I've told him that next time it rains we're going to squirt him over with washing up liquid in the hope of the thing getting washed. Seedling swears it will stand up on it's own when taken off. He says "what's the point of washing it when it'll get dirty again" and his trousers are almost worse. They have a great big rip across the back and when he takes his jacket off his bum is poking out of the gap! I was more than a little alarmed at this as I would have expected some underwear in the vicinity, but not on Sundays it seems. Seedling will back me up on this; it's terrifying!

He is a very nice guy though and looks completely different with his proper clothes on. I don't know how he can WEAR the others.

Do you think I should mention my shorts and wellies? Full length poppy wellies ( for best, present from work colleagues for my recent 50th birthday) in the winter or full length green Hunter ones daily otherwise ( not best since birthday present). Ankle length crushed raspberry wellies in spring and autumn. Blue slip on clog wellies in summer. All worn with shorts ( yes - today - mid October ) unless we're under several inches of snow, when I will concede and give in to trousers.

Summer accessories - swimsuit or minimalist T-Shirt.

Rest of the year accessories - Other T-Shirts or Fleeces, socks, hat.

At all times earrings, perfume, wedding ring ( unless James Martin appears) note book and pen.

Chantal wrote:Those combat's with drawstring ankles would stop the rats shinning up your trouser legs too. Especially useful in your greenhouse Peter.

Chantal, from what you wrote on that thread I believe that your need is greater than mine, so I hvae posted you an old pair that I think will fit you. You might need the fairy liqued and a heavy shower though.....

Oh dear - here we go again........

Tigger, whatever do you mean?

I though the bomb squad were very understanding about that parcel I sent you.........

What would sniffer dogs make of this parcel though.....

A damper parcel?

Thanks Peter, I shall look forward to receiving your generous donation to my wardrobe.

Perhaps I could post of photo of me modelling them...

Chantal - stop encouraging him!

You know how long he was in hospital after that last bout of excitement............

naked gardening is best
im thinking of doing a series

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