Missing cat

[Jenny Green]

One of our cats has been missing for 24 hours now. I'm pretty happy about this as she was a nasty, dirty, cantankerous old beast who, quite frankly, deserved to die. However it seems she's in the house somewhere and (I hope) dead.
Any suggestions for locating the beast? We've looked in all the obvious and not so obvious places. I'd really like to find her because a) in this heat she'll start to smell soon and b) if I don't find her there's a good chance I'll be blamed for spiriting her away somehow.

[Geoff]

Strange post I must admit. Borrow a terrier?

[richard p]

you could try dowsing with a pendulum. a seach on google will probably find instructions,

[oldherbaceous]

Hope your other cat can't read or it will be getting worried.
I wonder if it could have been a cat burglar.

Kind regards Old Herbaceous.

Theres no fool like an old fool.

[Jenny Green]

My other cat's a little darling.
Honestly, I'm not a cat hater, but if you had to live with this cat you'd be anticipating her end too.

[oldherbaceous]

Dear Jenny, i hope you find your cat one way or the other, i know it's not nice when they go missing.
Whether you like them or not.

Kind regards Old Herbaceous.

Theres no fool like an old fool.

[Jenny Green]

Thanks Herby.
I hope to find her soon too. Dh is starting to look at me sideways.
It'd be just her style to die somewhere inaccessible so she could continue to torment me even after death.

[Tigger]

Jenny - you seemed so nice and so normal at Malvern.

[Jenny Green]

Okay, I can see I need to explain a bit more here before you all think I have psychopathic tendencies. I've been moaning about this cat for years and the 'I wish she would just die' sentiment trips off my tongue so easily now that I forget it must sound shocking. Here are some of the things she does:
1) Pooing & peeing JUST outside the litter tray.
2) Regularly puking up stomach contents & furball in the house.
3) Miaowing loudly at 4 in the morning for no reason whatsoever.
4) Shedding hair like there's no tomorrow wherever she goes.
5) Biting and/or scratching with no warning and for no reason when she's sitting on your lap being stroked.
6) Clawing up the furniture.
7) Depositing little bits of dried up poo around the house when they've got stuck to her bum and then fallen off.
Drooling to beat Niagra Falls and then shaking her head so it flies all over you.
9) Trying to jump onto your lap, failing and ripping your legs to shreds as she tried to save herself.
10) Generally being cantankerous & belligerent.

So you see she is the cat from hell with few redeeming features. I have another cat who I love to bits honestly.

[Sarahlee]

One of our cats managed to get behind the fitted kitchen cupboards. We found her by her cries but had to cut the inside of the cupboard into pieces to get her out.

[jopsy]

Jenny
one of my cats does 1,2,4 6, and 7
but she's quite nice really
is she possibly locked in someones shed or garage? is there a neighbour away?
my daft cats been locked in lilys bedroom all day

[Jenny Green]

Thanks Sarahlee and Jopsy.
We think she must have crawled somewhere and died because we can't hear her miaowing.
We've tried the shed etc but thanks for the suggestion. It looks like we'll be pulling the kitchen apart next.

[Jenny Green]

Still no sign of her. Looks like she's really gone!

[richard p]

your description almost fits one of ours. its funny how old cats just dissapeer, one day they are hobling about looking like their time is near then they just dissapeer , weve had it happen several times over the years.

[Allan]

Don;'t count on your luck (or otherwise).
The cat next door at 15 years was gone 8 weeks then suddenly turned up with a swollen face and one eye closed, assumed bitten by a mink, she has fully recovered now and in good health.

Allan