Kitchen Garden Forum

We've had our allotment for 22 years and have grown ton's of stuff over the years. Since our daughter died suddenly on the 7th June last year I have lost my mojo. This yearI have only sown a few caulis, broccoli's and cabbages and some lettuce in the polytunnel. Some courgettes, which I have had real difficulty with the seeds germinating. I sowed 12 I got three, I sowed more and now have 6 plants. I have sowed one row of beetroot and no carrots at all! I probably planted out 24 leeksII have decided to have a year off and hopefully get my mojo back next year. I wish it would come back because I miss it very much.

Hello, Catherine, nice to hear from you again but I am so sorry to hear about your daughter and can imagine how that hit you hard. Do give your gardening another go this year - it will give you something to look forward to, even if you lose some to pests and other baddies. And do keep joining in this forum, we have all been friends for a long time!

Dear Catherine,

I am sorry to hear about your daughter's death, it would have been a huge shock & with the first anniversary coming up your thoughts are going to be in turmoil, your concentration on gardening limited. It's not loosing your mojo as such but learning to cope with a huge void in your life. Don't worry about the growing & sowing but try to make the growing positive so forget the fickle veg & throw some flower seeds in so you have peaceful & pretty place to sit & remember your daughter. When happy memories overcome the sadness a bit more, you will know & be ready to grow again.

Sad to hear. But you are right, if you keep going your enjoyment will return. The loss of a child is difficult to bear. Sending you warm wishes and welcome back.

Monika wrote:Hello, Catherine, nice to hear from you again but I am so sorry to hear about your daughter and can imagine how that hit you hard. Do give your gardening another go this year - it will give you something to look forward to, even if you lose some to pests and other baddies. And do keep joining in this forum, we have all been friends for a long time!

Hi Monika, goodness I can't remember how many years it was since we met in the village Hall in Embsay. I am struggling at the moment. but am trying. I will keep coming and checking the forum. I like the fact there are so many people that are here after so many years. xx

Westi wrote:Dear Catherine,

I am sorry to hear about your daughter's death, it would have been a huge shock & with the first anniversary coming up your thoughts are going to be in turmoil, your concentration on gardening limited. It's not loosing your mojo as such but learning to cope with a huge void in your life. Don't worry about the growing & sowing but try to make the growing positive so forget the fickle veg & throw some flower seeds in so you have peaceful & pretty place to sit & remember your daughter. When happy memories overcome the sadness a bit more, you will know & be ready to grow again.

Thank you Westie, It is so so difficult, just need to get through the next couple of weeks, then hopefully I will start getting better.

Hi Catherine,to be honest I’m the same myself my wife passed on 2 years ago me daughter 5 years ago every day is a fight to get myself to move I did very little last year on my plot although I’m having a go this year but it’s mainly trying to rid my plot of rats I think I’m slowly winning that battle , I would like to advise you on the best way of getting your mojo back but I haven’t found it all I can say is stick at it

robo wrote:Hi Catherine,to be honest I’m the same myself my wife passed on 2 years ago me daughter 5 years ago every day is a fight to get myself to move I did very little last year on my plot although I’m having a go this year but it’s mainly trying to rid my plot of rats I think I’m slowly winning that battle , I would like to advise you on the best way of getting your mojo back but I haven’t found it all I can say is stick at it

So very sorry to hear that. It is a struggle every day. We have lots of rats on our allotment because there are lots of chickens. We will have to progress together. Fingers crossed we will get there. But it is early days for both of us. Keep in touch.

Dear Catherine, so sorry to read what you have been going through, such tough times.
I have always tried to give you an answer to all your questions over the many years and I wish I could come up with a good one here, I'm afraid I don’t have one this time…..all I can say is, try and find one thing to smile about every day and Westi’s idea of growing some flowers in memory of your Daughter, is very special!

All we can do is our best in the toughest of times….glad you will keep looking on the forum, as we have some extremely thoughtful members and they can be a huge help in tough times and that’s speaking from experience!

Take care, Catherine. xx

Thank you for your kind reply OH. I am just ticking over at the moment, not achieving much. I grew lots of dahlia's from seed last year which were very successful and beautiful. I have tried to do this again this year. I also rescued a lot of bulbs that Alison had bought and never had the chance to plant. They have come up and will be better next year so they will be in her memory.

That sounds lovely, Catherine, I hope the bulbs and dahlia’s give you a much needed lift.

Catherine. I know what you are going through. Lost the light of my life some 14 months ago. I paid for 70 trees to be planted in her name. Also bought a standard rose for the garden called REMEMBER ME. First bud has appeared, should be out in about a fortnight. Found no words from friends helped.

So sorry to hear that, what a lovely thought regarding the trees. I must admit I don't have many friends, never have had. I am better on my own or with my oh. We are both the same, which is handy! Most people you meet wonder why you still get upset almost a year on! I hope the rose flourishes.

Dear Catherine
I'm really sorry to hear of your daughter's death. It is quite understandable that you have been knocked sideways, anyone would be. It is utterly devastating.
Routine does help, even if you go through it like an automoton.

However, you do have lots of friends, we are here.

Very sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you're able to take pleasure in growing things again, even if it's not this year.