Its No Joke

[Pa Snip]

You might expect to read something like this in the joke section....except it is no joke.
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As a result of receiving a Bowel Cancer screening kit, and then a reminder that I had not sent it back for screening test I rang the NHS office concerned today.
This is the conversation I had.
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Opened call by giving NHS Number, name and date of birth.
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Operative, I see you have not returned your test for screening yet.
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ME. No I am ringing you to save the NHS wasting money.
You might as well remove my name from your list as I have been told I have terminal cancer already and undertaking the test is a waste of time and money.
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Operative:- You already have bowel cancer?
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ME: No I have another form of cancer and was told I would not see last Christmas.
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Operative:- I can remove your name from the current round of tests and we will send you another test kit in two years time.
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ME:- Well that's just wasting money.
From the conversation we have just had, If I were you, I would not expect a reply !!!
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Seems you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

[dan3008]

They are useless... They seriously are. I thought it was bad when sat in critical care I got the "would you recommend this service to family or friends" text, but that seriously takes the biscuit

By the way, no I wouldn't recommend Sheffield critical care to anyone... They only let me have coffee at prescribed drink and meal times, the rest of the time I had to put up with water

[peter]

I got a GP referral for a small hard lump on my neck to Surgeon A on date x.

On date x Surgeon A was already removing my gall bladder.

Faced with the same logical conversations as you Pa Snip, I reverted to low guile and on the day I propositioned the young lady using marker pen on me to mark the lump as well. It worked!

Twas a benign cyst.

[Shallot Man]

Pa Snip. Sorry about your illness. Re the nurse. Probable reading from a screen, and on auto-pilot.

[Geoff]

My sister's husband died in hospital whilst in for tests, she got the diagnosis results three months later.

[Pa Snip]

My sister's husband died in hospital whilst in for tests, she got the diagnosis results three months later.

That is so appalling.

[PLUMPUDDING]

Not as serious as the others, but dad had had both his cataracts operated on after a very long wait, then a couple of months later got another appointment ( for his third eye?).

[robo]

I was in hospital for twelve days last September following a heart attack half way through my stay I had a cat scan half an hour later I was on the ward when a young consultants trainee came to me and said that I had a hole in my heard which at present was like a flap if it leaked I would die instantly when I asked what the next step was she burst into tears and run off, half an hour later it was visiting time and I had a full turn out of my close family after me relating the events my young daughter jumped up and said she was going to sort it out, ten minutes later the nurse came and said she had just finished on the phone to the consultant who had sent my scans to Liverpool heart and lung as it's called the consultant there said it was not a hole but a stretch scare caused by the attack I never seen the first consultant or his trainee again

[FredFromOssett]

Not as serious as the others, but dad had had both his cataracts operated on after a very long wait, then a couple of months later got another appointment ( for his third eye?).

When I was a young 'un, blankety-blank years ago, if I was about to commit a misdemeanour (or already had!), my father used to remind me that he had eyes in the back of his head

[Pa Snip]

During the course of last year I was having various tests & scans on a very regular basis.
On one occasion I was attending for a MRI scan. My name was called and the nurse told me to go and undress and put on one of the wonderful gowns and return to the waiting area and they would call me for my abdomen scan as soon as possible.

Now this gave me time to sit and think , and being a user of two hearing aids, I asked my wife "did she really say abdomen scan"
She confirmed that was the case.

Soon as I saw nurse I said to her, "Can I ask why you are doing MRI on my abdomen because I have a tumour on my tongue and cancer of the throat, nothing to do with my guts"

Her reply was that she didn't know and would get in touch with the consultant, came back a few minutes later and said "Sorry, we couldn't read the consultants writing, we are now scanning your neck" !!!!

[FredFromOssett]

Her reply was that she didn't know and would get in touch with the consultant, came back a few minutes later and said "Sorry, we couldn't read the consultants writing, we are now scanning your neck" !!!!

In all seriousness, that sort of thing is alarming. There should be absolutely no excuse for that sort of foul-up.

[Pa Snip]

Her reply was that she didn't know and would get in touch with the consultant, came back a few minutes later and said "Sorry, we couldn't read the consultants writing, we are now scanning your neck" !!!!

In all seriousness, that sort of thing is alarming. There should be absolutely no excuse for that sort of foul-up.

Indeed not but sadly it, and worse, happens.

[dan3008]

In all seriousness, that sort of thing is alarming. There should be absolutely no excuse for that sort of foul-up.

Indeed not but sadly it, and worse, happens.

My uncle is an orthopedic consultant, specializing in knees. And the number of times people get sent to him to have the wrong knee replaced.
His best one was when a guy got sent to him for a knee replacement for back pain.. It was his hips causing the problem

[Westi]

I should support these people, but these bizarre things do happen pretty regularly! Some are process error, most are human error! Now you can fix the processes but the humans are another ball game altogether!

Westi

[dan3008]

well, Humans can be Fixed... But forcing it on people is considered cruel... of course, we do it to dogs...