Kitchen Garden Forum

Inspired by this thread viewtopic.php?f=8&t=10436 I offer the following as a starter.

Who can suggest the best last line?

A Kitchen Gardener from Kent,
Whose cucumbers always grew bent,
Put Viagra in water
(rather more than he ought to)
.................................................

And his wife said "Heaven sent".

And right round the bend they went.

And frightened a young lady of Ghent.

Which improved them one hundred percent.

and brought up more than he oughta.......

now he uses them to hold up a tent

Excellent!

Another?

A bit more to complete this time.

And then there's the gardener in Wales,
Whose plot was infested with snails.

He got out the ales
Now they have all gone off the rails .....

And then there's the gardener from Wales,
Whose plot was infested with snails,
So he collected them up,
Into a very large cup,
And tipped them out at Alan Refails.

He said Oh gorblimey
They're horribly slimy
And they're eating my cabbage and kales!

But snails in Wales aren't anything new,
And he needed no more from you!
So he gathered the lot,
Threw them into a pot
And boiled up a very nice stew.

PS

OH, your contribution
Really made me smile.
But Refail doesn't rhyme with snail,
It actually rhymes with Vile

Revile ?

Hmmmmm.

peter wrote:Revile ?

Hmmmmm.

REVile - with the stress on the REV

And then there’s the gardener in Wales
whose plot was infested with snails,
Blodwen, his wife,
Went mad with her knife
And now there’s no snails left in Wales!