Kitchen Garden Forum

Lizzie, as Grock would say "you need someone else to tart up your paintwork?"

I thought you could do it yourself with your online pimp!

No, that pimp only does siggys!!!

Won't you do the paintwork for me. I hate doing it. Bores me to death. There's 2 crates of larger, bottle of whiskey and all you can eat!!!

It's the best offer i'm going to give! Or let's haggle Big Nose, what's your best terms

Who are you calling bignose, then pimp-sign?

Grock, where are you when I need you?

What whiskey?

Is a car-minder included, or should I bring the bricks myself?

Bitter not lager, preferably "Bitter and Twisted" and four crates.

Milage at 66.3p per mile.

Allowance for wear and tear on the mistress.

A publicly funded mansion to "carry on" in.

Oops, thought I was John Prescott for a moment there.......

Whiskey in
Can do Bitter but not twisted (bad back)
Car will be fine. Will attach it to the mains.
Millage 25p
Can't help woth mistress, mansion or public funds but maybe John Prescott could!

As for Big Nose, have you not seen the haggling scene in Life of Brian?

Bells(two bottles) or Glenfiddich 15 year reserve(one bottle).
"Bitter & Twisted" is a named bottled bitter beer.
Heard that some scallies are immune to mains, can you add a rottweiler?
Milage 55p per mile.
Thought you pimped for Grock on Fridays?
Your shed, with a takeaway curry.
Public funds, you live near liverpool and say you cant help with them.

Not a penny less, big-bum.

Ok.
Glenfiddach
Bitter and Twisted
Rottweiler for free or Grock if she isn't working
30p per mile
Curry
And the name of Ken Dodds accountant

45p per mile over the four hundred and thirty six miles round trip.
Grock can't guard the car and provide "personal services" at the same time surely!

Carole B. wrote:Yep....loo seat's always up round here too...I gave up trying for a daughter after 4 boys! They're not bad though,they will cook and wash up if I prod 'em. No.2 son (18)can do a full Sunday roast for 6 so it pays to teach your boys to cook,girls!

You gave up too soon, says the fifth child and only girl in a family of six .

But these days I don't have toilet seat problems because the lid has to be down whenever there is no rear-end blocking access or the dog drinks the water

Grock, you dont need Steve, I will do your oven after filling your talons for you. More Vicks Grock?

Grock watch out, esp if he offers to follow up with some baking.

Hi Ladies, I've never had this many girls fighting over me before, I quite like it though. I think I may have to consider hiring myself out to do the housework for you all, as long as you don't mind me wearing my uniform, Love Steve x.

Holy Shit!

Hi Chantal, can't tell if you like that idea or not?

As I need my oven cleaning and that would involve lot of bending over ( )I'm still too traumatised from considering this prospect to comment properly.