Kitchen Garden Forum

Chantal, all I can say to that is check out our membership !

Quality

Hi Chantal,
You must be v---e---r---y, v---e---r---y, c---a---r---e---f---u---l w---h---a---t y---o---u s---a---y a---b---o---u---t s---e---v---e---n---t---y y---e---a---r o---l---d---s!! M---a---l---v---e---r---n i---s s---t---i---l--- l---o---o---m---i---n----g u---p f---s---t---e---r t---h---a---n w---e w---r---i---t---e! So watch it!!

You haven't met my neighbours JB. They're nuts (in fact the son who's my age is called Squirrel (real name Cyril). I love them to death but they are BARKING! Jim says he's seen several alien abductions and in the summer often sits with me in the garden on clear evenings as we watch for alien spaceships to appear over the horizon. There is a problem now as he says they used to use the radio station masts in Rugby and Daventry as sort of runway lights, but since these have been decomissioned there's nothing to line up the spaceships with, so we get less. He also says he gets Morse Code through another neighbours lawnmower which he swears is someone from his army signals days trying to get through. He can't quite make it out however, and reception through the cold tap is slightly better as he can turn the volume up. The other day he was telling me all about some bloke on TV who says he's been to 2035 and back again and was warning about some sort of plague that's due to hit us. He truly believes all this stuff but is otherwise one of the sanest people I know. He and his wife, and Cyril, are wonderful to me, adore my cats and chickens and are always there if I need them; often before I know that I do need them. I still think they're potty, but I do tell them to their face, I don't just tell you lot. I wouldn't change them for the world.

Oh, and Peter, unless you've changed your identity, you DON'T live next door to me...

Watch out Peter, she probably knows your inside leg measurement as well.

Not his LEG measurement Piglet...

I love the sound of your neighbours Chantal - I could introduce them to a few others they'd have something in common with, as I'm sure Mrs P could too!

Chantal wrote:Oh, and Peter, unless you've changed your identity, you DON'T live next door to me...

Now I'm really confused.

Chantal are you trying to destabilise the rest of us?
I've never claimed to live next door to you, I know I've had a few senior moments this week, but I'm damm sure of where I live.

Is your neighbour maybe taking in washing for the large blue men from jupiter, or, trying to signal to the little yellow striped ant-beings from Alpha Proximi?

Anyway, just watch out, have caravan, can tow, could give up passing all my money to that nice Mr Brown and go pikey!

On the roadside, near your house.


With Piglet coming round for a dram or two in the early hours, Glenfiddich OK old chap?


All the, now, non-smokers coming round at 3am to see where Piglet has got to and him frying up some hedgehog snokers.

Grock visiting at 4am with her scouts,after she has given them some sprout wine, "just to ease you off to sleep dear" and then showing them, with Lizzie, how they used to party.

Naaah, I'm not that nasty.


But I'm upset, when you measured me up for that special outfit you said I had to wear, you promised, promised, you wouldn't tell a soul and I thought you were so kind, warming the brass end of the tape measure before use.





The guest posting earlier today was, unintentionally me by the way for the immoderate amoungst us.

I'm seriously worried........Are we definitely on a Forum about gardening and growing vegetables????

Tigger, I keep thinking I am on a gardening website, then some naughty person leads me astray.

This time it was that naughty Chantal, wanted to talk about her neighbours big knickers .
Seems she wants to get some of her own with lycra .
I think she has some naughty naughty ideas about building a slingshot equipped two person hang-glider and overflying a quarry somewhere.

Piglet you do wear a hard hat at work?
If you hear tha dambusters theme, played inexpertly on knicker elastic accompanied by a terrified moggie, just run for cover shouting "Tim, please stop her!"

Tigger, seriously what have you managed to sow/plant this year?

I've managed zero this year.
Over-wintering onions are waving defiant green ribbons at the wind and I've rotovated most of the potato plot tonight .
Hopefully Saturday I can get the Howard-350 on the plot with the furrower on the back and get all my tatties in.

Sunday, mad fool, I'm directing traffic at an U-14's 5-County Rugby festival.

Well - I lost all of my early sowings of tomatoes, chillies, cucumbers, melons, peppers, aubergines, everything - because of a dodgy bag of Westland vermiculite. So I had to start again.

Now I've got all of the above plus peas, broad beans, chervil, coriander, basil, two types of rocket, two types of parsley, spinach, beetroot, peas, various lettuces, onions, garlic, cape gooseberries, parsnips, carrots, lots of flowers.

First earlies - Red Duke of York grown in the tunnel - on schedule for Easter.

Asparagus has emerged today. Strawberries doing well. Currants, raspberries, tayberries, etc all in bud. Rhubarb nearly ready to eat.

Potatoes going into the ground this weekend. Then it's kohl rabi, kenyan beans, runner beans, mangetout, chard, and lots more flowers!

Must be something I've missed.

Hi Tigger,
What do you mean by Kenyan Bean? Do you mean Climbing French? I only know the term Kenyan as a Supermarket Grouping for Pencil Beans grown in Kenya
or am I missing something!

Morning everyone

Peter, if you're planning on touring the country in your pikey caravan, would you like to borrow my Lulu?

Piglet, rest easy, I'm scared of heights, and anyway, I'm not the sort of person to go around nicking my neighbours underwear of the washing line, no matter what Peter may think.

Tigger, you are doing well after a bad start, you've got more in than me now by the sound of it.

Peter, Yes to Glenfidich but I prefer Cardhu, yes to hard hats (and I have a spare) . If I wear my fluorescent orange overalls with silver stripes, Chantals neighbour will really think he has been abducted .

Hedgehog and horse radish snorkers any one

Wheres Grock with that sprout wine And bring on that lulu Chanters, lets burn it down Peter