Kitchen Garden Forum

Naah, nothing like that Tigger Sorry to disappoint you. Just an old joke with ducks in it.

Three guys died in an accident and went to heaven. When they got there, St. Peter said, "We only have one rule in heaven. Don't step on the ducks!"

So they entered heaven and sure enough, there were ducks all over the place. It was almost impossible not to step on a duck and although they tried their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally stepped on one.

Along came St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw. St. Peter chained them together and said, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman".

The next day, the second guy stepped accidentally on a duck and along came St. Peter, who didn't miss a thing, and with him was another extremely ugly woman. He chained them together with the same admonishment as the first.

The third guy had observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, was very careful where he stepped. He managed to go for months without stepping on any duck. But one day, St. Peter came up to him with the most gorgeous woman he had ever laid eyes on. St. Peter chained them together without saying a word.

The guy remarked, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all eternity"?

She replied, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck"!

Dear Chantal, the end of that joke has cheered me up no-end.

So, this guy has a pet duck and he goes to the movie theater to see a movie and brings his duck with him. He goes to the ticket window and says to the lady, "I'd like two tickets, one for me, and one for my duck."

The lady says, "I can't give your duck a ticket."

The man says, "What gives? This is my pet duck. I take him everywhere."

The lady says, "I'm sorry, sir, but you cannot bring that animal inside the theater."

The man says fine and walks around the back of the theater, unzips his pants, sticks the duck in there, zips up, goes back around front and buys one ticket.

He sits down to watch the movie next to some old ladies. He unzips his pants and the duck sticks his head out to get a little air.

The old lady next to him turns to her friend and whispers, "Hey Mabel, there's a pervert sitting next to me. He's got his thing out."

Mabel whispers back, "Just enjoy it dear. At our age we don't get to see many of those anymore."

She whispers back, "But I'm nervous. This one's different."

Mabel answers, "Oh really? What's so different about it?"

"It's eating my popcorn!"

Di wrote:Old Herbaceaous, apolopgies if I confused you, the joke is of course gibberish, which is why i remember it for thirty years and forget so many useful things.

Di

Bugger!

I was hoping for an explanation of that, first heard it at school, more years ago than I care to say.

Peter

Is this the explanation you wanted

Dear Chantal, i'm really quite shocked.

Dear Alan, i have had a look at the link, and now i can see why i was so confused.