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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2018 10:29 am
by oldherbaceous
Bah Humbug.....I love sprouts but, not sure about that....

Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2018 10:49 am
by tigerburnie
That ice cream will finish off the deep fried Christmas dinners that quite a few Scots chippies have been doing, including mince pies and Turkish delight deep fried in batter...……..yuk.
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 3:54 pm
by snooky
Hanging out!
A blonde was walking down the street. A policeman was walking the opposite way.
“Hmmm,” he wondered, “It looks as if that lady’s right breast is hanging out of her bikini top.” As he got closer,
he realized it was. He approached her. He said, “Ma’am, do you understand your right breast is hanging out of
your bikini?” She replied, “Oh heck. I left the baby on the bus!”..
.
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:46 pm
by peter

- FB_IMG_1546083134307.jpg (97.11 KiB) Viewed 6268 times
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 8:48 am
by Primrose
This made me laugh. I think I should turn it into a large poster and pin it to the gate of our local park. Maybe some of the inconsiderate dog walkers who never collect their dog's droppings would then take some notice !!
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 10:55 pm
by Stephen
Shouldn't it be rolled in glitter? After all you can not polish it!
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2019 12:11 am
by peter
Stephen wrote:Shouldn't it be rolled in glitter? After all you can not polish it!
Alas, all that glitters is not gold!
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 8:05 pm
by Primrose
WHY SENIORS NEVER CHANGE THEIR PASSWORD.
WINDOWS:
Please enter your new password.
USER :
Cabbage
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER:
Boiled cabbage
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER:
1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces
USER:
50damnboiledcabbages
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character
USER:
50DAMNboiledcabbages
WINDOWS:
Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER:
50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow !
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER:
ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS:
Sorry, that password is already in use.
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 9:07 pm
by alan refail
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2019 1:55 pm
by Stephen
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 8:10 am
by alan refail

- wheel.jpg (57.85 KiB) Viewed 6116 times
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 10:43 am
by alan refail
Brits abroad. True or not it's worth a laugh.

Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 11:49 am
by Primrose
Well after Brexit they can all stay at h ome. Should reduce the number of complaints !!

Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2019 11:51 am
by snooky
Visiting the Doctor
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.
A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said
"Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick" he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that".
"Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you" he said.
The Receptionist replied ''Now you have caused some needless embarrassment in this room full of people, You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private".
The man replied "You should not ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone".
The man then decided to walk out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked "Yes??'
"There's something wrong with my ear" He stated loudly.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.
"What is wrong with your ear, Sir?''
'I can't piss out of it" he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 9:43 am
by alan refail
The benefits of speaking Welsh
1 - You walk a lot quicker!