Snake

Love to have animals around? Perhaps you're being plagued by them? All your tips here...

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Westi
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Was down at lottie on the week end and our Adder is back,
warming up beside the fence. She is OK (but is massive)and
goes away when you near but the boys come down to mate
with her and they are not so well behaved and stand their
ground and even hissed at me and blocked the path to the
shed. :shock:

We have tried to have her relocated but the response was
she was there first which is resonable and as stated she is
timid. The problem is the boys. They move along the back
fence over about 3 plots and there are small children. I have
told their Mum and she is aware but they are quite tiny and
run blindly up & down so is a worry.

As much as it is interesting watching them doing that twisting
thing and last year even saw them mating enough is enough!
Any hints or tips that will keep them off the plot and in the
hedge row where they do no harm?

Westi
Westi
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oldherbaceous
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Dear Westi, i haven't got a clue, but it might be worth a phone call to your nearest Zoo, and speak to someone incharge of the reptile house.

As a last resort, you could by a wicker basket and one of the wooden flute things. :)
Kind Regards, Old Herbaceous.

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peter
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Pet mongoose? :shock:
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Elaine
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Nice one OH! I like that! I can't imagine how you would stop snakes coming onto your allotment, especially as they seem to be so well established. Cheers, Elaine.
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Westi
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POSITION VACANT / WANTED

ONE FLUTE PLAYING MONGOOSE

Can offer bootiful wicker basket and free fresh
reptilian lunches provided. All reasonable contenders
considered but must be prepared to audition for this position.

Excellent salary, terms & conditions to the successful
applicant. This lottie is an equal opportunities employer who
fully supports NVQ in flute & bongo.

Applications in writing to Westi. Closing Date 1st April. :lol: :lol:
Westi
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Smurfy
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:lol: :lol: :lol:
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oldherbaceous
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Brilliant Westi. :lol: :lol: :wink:
Kind Regards, Old Herbaceous.

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Monika
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westi, are you sure it's an adder? You must be very near heathland or some other moorland type area, because adders do not usually venture into cultivated land. In fact, they are very shy and will stay away from humans if at all possible, only attacking if they feel threatened.

We have adders on the moors here but nowhere near any houses or gardens.
Westi
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Hi Monika

We are near the New Forrest and our site overlooks fields at
the back where I am. The other side of the field is the railway
embankment which is where the boys live coming down over
the field to mate. The female had the back row to herself for
ages as they only opened up the back row where I am about
5 or 6 yrs ago so she is well established and I suspect hibernates
in the hedge row in the numerous holes and unwittingly we have
probably increased her food source attracting mice around the
sheds and our harvested crop. :?

She is not the only Adder on site - there is another one in the
front row right near a main road living in the compost bin, and
there are various grass snakes around the plot as well. I will
be going down shortly and will try to get a picture but as it turns
into a bit of a circus with other plot holders coming to see her
(the size intrigues) she has been definately id's as an Adder.

Westi
Westi
Monika
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Sounds great to me, Westi. You are very lucky and I think, with care, you can all live happily together. You should certainly not suffer from mice or rats!
Elaine
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Dear Mr Westi, I wish to apply for the post of Flute Playing Mongoose as advertised by yourself. However,as my C.V. is a little out dated, I have to be honest and admit that I am actually a Meerkat and I play the recorder. I hope you will consider me for this post, as it sounds perfect for me. Would I be able to decorate the wicker basket to my own preference? I await your reply with eager anticipation. Yours sincerely, Mervin Meerkat.
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peter
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Dear Mr Mervin Meerkat, thank you for your letter of application for this job.

I enclose the full twenty-four page application form, six page ethnicity sexual orientation & religous belief survey form, eighteen page health & safety form, one hundred & eighteen page guide to completing these forms and the Allotment Mission Statement.

As you may be working with beings from a variety of different species we will require you to undertake a full CRB test.

So that we can carry out an initial assessement of your suitability for this role could you please confirm that you are registered with CompareTheMeerkat.com

Regards, Westi.

An equal dis-opportunity employer.
Growing Vegetables since 1834.

PS Forgot the Job Description, here it is "Kill the *****y snakes".
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.

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macmac
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i joined this forum because i'm interested in all things growing but the joy of discovering stuff like this is wonderful .trouble is i'll spend so much time logged on our plot will be covered in weeds!(sort of defeats the object)thebetter half has already noticed,he's watching the footie at the moment so i'm safe for a while. keep up the good work :
sanity is overrated
Elaine
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Re; Job applica
tion.

Dear Mr Westi, Thankyou so much for your prompt reply to my application for the post as advertised. I can assure you that I am registered with CompareThe Meerkat.com, indeed, it would be folly not to be so insured. I have taken delivery of the application package. Unfortunately the delivery driver was not very amenable, as my burrow is not accessible by articulated lorry and he had to convey the pallet some distance by pallet trolley. I will endeavour to complete the application and you will hear from me no later than 25th March 2012. Yours sincerely Mervin Meerkat.
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Westi
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Mr Mervin Meerkat

I look forward to your application with anticipation and am sure
your recorder skills are sufficient but obviously will need to take
up references prior to appointment.
In the interim period due to expansion (the boys are down), there
will be an opportunity for an apprenticeship. Unfortunately this
will mean starting from the bottom but snakes aren't very tall and
it is probably the wisest end to approach; so this should suffice
your skills and abilities. This will give you a chance to update your
CV as well. :roll:
What I want however is assurances that you will keep your head
down and it worries me that you may need to attend preliminary
skills workshops to achieve this, but it will be eligible for a grant. :idea:
The current application process for skills workshops is via local council,
regional council and Downing Street, however if you are quick you
can gain a competitive advantage by harnessing the skills of the G20
group who are currently at odds to save the world from recession so
will be available to help you complete your application in various
languages. This will obviously aid your successful application as it
will eliminate the need to complete Section 876YK9-4446:H (Pg 876). :!:
I look forward to further communication when you have your skills
workshop certif-loma-gree. :?

Yours Westi
:lol: :lol: :wink:
Westi
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