Sorry OH - refusing help doesn't make anyone 'very special'. It makes them stubborn for whatever reason of their own and it might hurt the person who is offering the help. Doesn't seem like a great idea to me.
And there's pride before a fall.
It would be better if people just behaved nicely instead of being on their high horse or whatever. Just do your best to get along, without all this "I'm too proud and you can't help me" sh!t.
Neighbours
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Westi
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There will always be what you call stubborn people, especially older people who don't want to be a burden. Surprisingly they manage to carry on & stay under the radar of social services & other services whose response will likely be to try to get them into care or provide care & they will loose the independence, isolation & peace they want. 21st century hermits.
Refusing help is their right while they have the mental capacity to be aware of the risks; & if others infringe on this they may well be not pleased nor worried if the person invading their privacy feelings are hurt. With these people it is very tiny steps first, like a wave in passing. There is a single older lady been living over the road from me for about 30yrs, she ignored my wave for about 25yrs but started to respond but we don't have any conversation just moved to a good morning/afternoon, but I'm sure if she really required any help she would be confident enough to ask me. In the meantime it is her life & I won't infringe.
Refusing help is their right while they have the mental capacity to be aware of the risks; & if others infringe on this they may well be not pleased nor worried if the person invading their privacy feelings are hurt. With these people it is very tiny steps first, like a wave in passing. There is a single older lady been living over the road from me for about 30yrs, she ignored my wave for about 25yrs but started to respond but we don't have any conversation just moved to a good morning/afternoon, but I'm sure if she really required any help she would be confident enough to ask me. In the meantime it is her life & I won't infringe.
Westi
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Myrkk
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I know a lot of older people that won’t accept help, not even from family. They worry about being a burden, they worry about losing their independence, about being put into care as someone may think they are unable to care for themselves… and many other things. It’s complex and their intention will not be to hurt you as your intention was not to hurt them. Pride is a two way street, empathy and compassion and taking things slowly as has been previously mentioned is a good way to go.
Hope you both find a way to ease into your new role as neighbours and, hopefully, friends, it sounds like they really need someone to talk to, often more of a necessity than people realise x
Hope you both find a way to ease into your new role as neighbours and, hopefully, friends, it sounds like they really need someone to talk to, often more of a necessity than people realise x
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Stravaig
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It depends on how help is offered or given. I accepted an invitation to a meal out and was helped to get there by a very fit and capable woman. But I really felt patronised. It wasn't Stravaig and I came together. It was always I took Stravaig, like I'm some kind of dog that needs taking out for walkies. I really didn't like that and I could see other people cringe at her well-meaning but clumsy remarks and my raised eyebrows.