My current favourite...

General Cooking tips

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... a Camembert or a stinky brie. Bake in the oven (or wherever you bake stuff) until liquid. Like molten lava.

We don't buy breadsticks as such (ie expensive Italian things) we make toast fingers and dip them into the cheese. Delicious.

My Scottish uncle married an Italian woman so I tried to learn some Italian language. Got up to two on the counting side of things... uno, due... and I learned to ask where the toilet is.

Languages aren't really my strong point. But I can kick someone on the shins or bat them on the head quickly enough.