Oh, Westi. I think I love you! No. Don't get scared and run away. I just love your idea of a rehearsed response.
I could do that.
On 1st April I gave our fishmonger a ceramic cat - and it had its own litter tray! The "litter" was rice krispies and I added several turds to it. Some kind of chocolate Crunchie type of thing. They were surprised to receive this gift. Seemed happy enough. Gave me back the cat and tray the following week as is usual. I give them weirds stuff and they give me it back the following week.
My cousin, a Scot like me, has lived in the Caribbean for 40+ years. He's coming to visit us next month. I'm going to book our favourite curry place for lunch. There's no need to book ahead really but I just want to make super certain sure that things go to plan.