- FB_IMG_1564513299336.jpg (52.46 KiB) Viewed 4544 times
Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Moderators: KG Steve, Chantal, Tigger, peter, Chief Spud
- peter
- KG Regular
- Posts: 5845
- Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:54 pm
- Location: Near Stansted airport
- Has thanked: 18 times
- Been thanked: 36 times
- Contact:
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
- Primrose
- KG Regular
- Posts: 8063
- Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2006 8:50 pm
- Location: Bucks.
- Has thanked: 41 times
- Been thanked: 290 times
A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying,
“I regret that I cannot remember which one you are. Please keep your photo and return the others.”
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying,
“I regret that I cannot remember which one you are. Please keep your photo and return the others.”
- Shallot Man
- KG Regular
- Posts: 2653
- Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2006 9:51 am
- Location: Basildon. Essex
- Has thanked: 1 time
- Been thanked: 30 times
Primrose wrote:A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying,
“I regret that I cannot remember which one you are. Please keep your photo and return the others.”
In my National Service day's it was called a "Dear John" letter.
- peter
- KG Regular
- Posts: 5845
- Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:54 pm
- Location: Near Stansted airport
- Has thanked: 18 times
- Been thanked: 36 times
- Contact:
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
- alan refail
- KG Regular
- Posts: 7252
- Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:00 am
- Location: Chwilog Gogledd Orllewin Cymru Northwest Wales
- Been thanked: 5 times
Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
- alan refail
- KG Regular
- Posts: 7252
- Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:00 am
- Location: Chwilog Gogledd Orllewin Cymru Northwest Wales
- Been thanked: 5 times
Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
- alan refail
- KG Regular
- Posts: 7252
- Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:00 am
- Location: Chwilog Gogledd Orllewin Cymru Northwest Wales
- Been thanked: 5 times
Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
- peter
- KG Regular
- Posts: 5845
- Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:54 pm
- Location: Near Stansted airport
- Has thanked: 18 times
- Been thanked: 36 times
- Contact:
Watch out for these...
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
- alan refail
- KG Regular
- Posts: 7252
- Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:00 am
- Location: Chwilog Gogledd Orllewin Cymru Northwest Wales
- Been thanked: 5 times
Funny but so true in world as it has become
Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
- snooky
- KG Regular
- Posts: 999
- Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2008 5:03 pm
- Location: Farnborough
- Has thanked: 10 times
- Been thanked: 34 times
The seven dwarfs
The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.
Grumpy leads the pack.
'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'
Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome ?'
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome .'
In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.
Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.
Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?'
The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe .
'This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.
Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr.. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'
The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting......
'Grumpy shagged a penguin!'
'Grumpy shagged a penguin."
The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.
Grumpy leads the pack.
'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'
Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome ?'
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome .'
In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.
Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.
Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?'
The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe .
'This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.
Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr.. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'
The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting......
'Grumpy shagged a penguin!'
'Grumpy shagged a penguin."
Regards snooky
---------------------------------
A balanced diet is a beer in both hands!
WARNING.!!... The above post may contain an opinion
---------------------------------
A balanced diet is a beer in both hands!
WARNING.!!... The above post may contain an opinion
- Shallot Man
- KG Regular
- Posts: 2653
- Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2006 9:51 am
- Location: Basildon. Essex
- Has thanked: 1 time
- Been thanked: 30 times
snooky. Brilliant.
- snooky
- KG Regular
- Posts: 999
- Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2008 5:03 pm
- Location: Farnborough
- Has thanked: 10 times
- Been thanked: 34 times
Joke
The Swede's wife stepped up to the tee and, as she bent over to place her ball, a gust of wind blew her skirt up and revealed her lack of underwear.
"Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?", Ole demanded.
"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any," she replied. The Swede immediately reached into his pocket and said, "For the sake of decency, here's a $50. Go and buy yourself some underwear."
Next, the Irishman's wife bent over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blew up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?" She replied, "I can't afford any on the little money you give me." Patrick reached into his pocket and
said, "For the sake of decency, here's a $20. Go out and buy yourself some underwear!"
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bent over. The wind also took her
skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked. "Sweet mudder of Jaysus,Aggie! Where the friggin hell are yer drawers?" She too explained, 'You dinna give me enough money to be able at affarrd any." The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and said, "Well, fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit.."
The Swede's wife stepped up to the tee and, as she bent over to place her ball, a gust of wind blew her skirt up and revealed her lack of underwear.
"Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?", Ole demanded.
"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any," she replied. The Swede immediately reached into his pocket and said, "For the sake of decency, here's a $50. Go and buy yourself some underwear."
Next, the Irishman's wife bent over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blew up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?" She replied, "I can't afford any on the little money you give me." Patrick reached into his pocket and
said, "For the sake of decency, here's a $20. Go out and buy yourself some underwear!"
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bent over. The wind also took her
skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked. "Sweet mudder of Jaysus,Aggie! Where the friggin hell are yer drawers?" She too explained, 'You dinna give me enough money to be able at affarrd any." The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and said, "Well, fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit.."
Regards snooky
---------------------------------
A balanced diet is a beer in both hands!
WARNING.!!... The above post may contain an opinion
---------------------------------
A balanced diet is a beer in both hands!
WARNING.!!... The above post may contain an opinion
- peter
- KG Regular
- Posts: 5845
- Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:54 pm
- Location: Near Stansted airport
- Has thanked: 18 times
- Been thanked: 36 times
- Contact:
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/