Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

A place to chat about anything you like, including non-gardening related subjects. Just keep it clean, please!

Moderators: KG Steve, Chantal, Tigger, peter, Chief Spud

User avatar
peter
KG Regular
Posts: 5842
Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:54 pm
Location: Near Stansted airport
Has thanked: 18 times
Been thanked: 33 times
Contact:

FB_IMG_1564513299336.jpg
FB_IMG_1564513299336.jpg (52.46 KiB) Viewed 4198 times
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.

I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
User avatar
Primrose
KG Regular
Posts: 8054
Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2006 8:50 pm
Location: Bucks.
Has thanked: 37 times
Been thanked: 281 times

A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying,
“I regret that I cannot remember which one you are. Please keep your photo and return the others.”
User avatar
Shallot Man
KG Regular
Posts: 2653
Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2006 9:51 am
Location: Basildon. Essex
Has thanked: 1 time
Been thanked: 30 times

Primrose wrote:A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying,
“I regret that I cannot remember which one you are. Please keep your photo and return the others.”


In my National Service day's it was called a "Dear John" letter.
User avatar
peter
KG Regular
Posts: 5842
Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:54 pm
Location: Near Stansted airport
Has thanked: 18 times
Been thanked: 33 times
Contact:

FB_IMG_1566034425536.jpg
FB_IMG_1566034425536.jpg (64.02 KiB) Viewed 4109 times
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.

I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
User avatar
alan refail
KG Regular
Posts: 7252
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:00 am
Location: Chwilog Gogledd Orllewin Cymru Northwest Wales
Been thanked: 5 times

cred.jpg
cred.jpg (54.23 KiB) Viewed 4105 times
Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
User avatar
Geoff
KG Regular
Posts: 5574
Joined: Thu Nov 24, 2005 5:33 pm
Location: Forest of Bowland
Been thanked: 129 times

Had a boss once who used to get mixed up between Ann Summers and Sue Ryder. Proudly declared one year he had managed to do most of his Christmas shopping at Ann Summers.
User avatar
alan refail
KG Regular
Posts: 7252
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:00 am
Location: Chwilog Gogledd Orllewin Cymru Northwest Wales
Been thanked: 5 times

de.jpg
de.jpg (16.85 KiB) Viewed 4062 times
Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
User avatar
alan refail
KG Regular
Posts: 7252
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:00 am
Location: Chwilog Gogledd Orllewin Cymru Northwest Wales
Been thanked: 5 times

ach.jpg
ach.jpg (42.49 KiB) Viewed 4020 times
Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
User avatar
peter
KG Regular
Posts: 5842
Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:54 pm
Location: Near Stansted airport
Has thanked: 18 times
Been thanked: 33 times
Contact:

Watch out for these...

IMG_20190826_123236_kindlephoto-36033142.png
IMG_20190826_123236_kindlephoto-36033142.png (579.86 KiB) Viewed 3973 times
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.

I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
User avatar
alan refail
KG Regular
Posts: 7252
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:00 am
Location: Chwilog Gogledd Orllewin Cymru Northwest Wales
Been thanked: 5 times

Funny but so true in world as it has become :(


Image
Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
robo
KG Regular
Posts: 2808
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2012 10:22 pm
Location: st.helens
Has thanked: 9 times
Been thanked: 56 times

Someone has to keep us idiots in work
User avatar
snooky
KG Regular
Posts: 999
Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2008 5:03 pm
Location: Farnborough
Has thanked: 10 times
Been thanked: 34 times

The seven dwarfs




The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.
Grumpy leads the pack.

'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'

Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome ?'

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome .'

In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.

Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?'

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe .

'This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.

Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr.. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'

The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting......

'Grumpy shagged a penguin!'

'Grumpy shagged a penguin."
Regards snooky

---------------------------------
A balanced diet is a beer in both hands!
WARNING.!!... The above post may contain an opinion
User avatar
Shallot Man
KG Regular
Posts: 2653
Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2006 9:51 am
Location: Basildon. Essex
Has thanked: 1 time
Been thanked: 30 times

snooky. Brilliant. :lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
snooky
KG Regular
Posts: 999
Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2008 5:03 pm
Location: Farnborough
Has thanked: 10 times
Been thanked: 34 times

Joke



The Swede's wife stepped up to the tee and, as she bent over to place her ball, a gust of wind blew her skirt up and revealed her lack of underwear.
"Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?", Ole demanded.
"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any," she replied. The Swede immediately reached into his pocket and said, "For the sake of decency, here's a $50. Go and buy yourself some underwear."

Next, the Irishman's wife bent over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blew up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?" She replied, "I can't afford any on the little money you give me." Patrick reached into his pocket and
said, "For the sake of decency, here's a $20. Go out and buy yourself some underwear!"

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bent over. The wind also took her
skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked. "Sweet mudder of Jaysus,Aggie! Where the friggin hell are yer drawers?" She too explained, 'You dinna give me enough money to be able at affarrd any." The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and said, "Well, fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit.."
Regards snooky

---------------------------------
A balanced diet is a beer in both hands!
WARNING.!!... The above post may contain an opinion
User avatar
peter
KG Regular
Posts: 5842
Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:54 pm
Location: Near Stansted airport
Has thanked: 18 times
Been thanked: 33 times
Contact:

FB_IMG_1567892533574.jpg
FB_IMG_1567892533574.jpg (44.49 KiB) Viewed 3831 times
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.

I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic