Kitchen Garden Forum

Unlikely premise Alan! Cashing a cheque, how antiquated!

Stephen wrote:Unlikely premise Alan! Cashing a cheque, how antiquated!

He was doing a favour for Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Always wear pyjamas in bed!!

Hmm...
I confess, in summer I wear the Emperor's new pajamas in bed. Maybe I need to reconsider this option. (NO, it isn't me in that shot!)

I wonder if I’m to old to enrol as a fireman

robo wrote:I wonder if I’m to old to enrol as a fireman

One of my nicest young (distant) work colleagues left our Emergency Planning section yesterday to join LFB, naively I asked if she was going to be in charge of something similar there.
No she us joining the firefighter training programme and her long term ambition is to do some good in the world like the firefighters who go abroad to help in earthquakes and other natural disasters!

SEX AFTER DEATH
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.

True to his word, he made the first contact.

“Marion, Marion?”

"Is that you, Bob?”

“Yes, I've come back as we agreed."

“That's wonderful! What's it like there?”

"Well, I get up in the morning and I have sex. I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.Then I have lunch (you'd be proud -- lots of greens!) Another romp around the golf course, then I pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again.”

"Oh, Bob! Are you in Heaven?"

“No … I'm a bloody rabbit on a golf course in Scotland."

If Tommy Cooper were alive...
"Doctor, doctor, I'm adicted to Twitter & Instagram"
"I'm sorry, I don't follow you."

And now for something completely different

A well set-up family hire a marriage broker for their son.
The marriage-broker goes away and comes back with a picture of a beautiful young woman.
He tells the family, 'She's popular. She's beautiful. She's from a good family. She's perfect!'
Then the son butted in and said, 'Yes, but is she good in bed?'
And the marriage-broker says, 'Some say yes, some say no...'

Barry Cryer joke in 'The Oldie' mag

John

Llandudno's feral Kashmiri goats vainly queuing for a quick trim during lockdown.