Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

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Shallot Man
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Shallot Man » Thu Jan 30, 2020 10:36 am

alan refail wrote:Image


Have a friend who was given not one but two DNA tests for his Birthday. [ two differant companys] Came back two differant results, he picked the best of the two for boasting about his lineage that raises the question. Are they a con. :wink: :wink:
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Westi » Thu Jan 30, 2020 8:27 pm

They are a bit cheap so deffo got to be suspicious!
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Stephen » Thu Jan 30, 2020 9:12 pm

I wouldn't use one.
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alan refail
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby alan refail » Fri Jan 31, 2020 8:15 am

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you £500 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her £500 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…

“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbour,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the £500 he owes me?”
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Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Stephen » Tue Mar 03, 2020 2:38 pm

I've just been to France and spent a day in Paris. Here is one of the Wallace Fountains.
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Geoff
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Geoff » Wed Mar 11, 2020 7:36 pm

Well if you can't laugh about it.....

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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Primrose » Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:08 pm

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There must be a lot of these being built round here. Not a packet of loo roll in sight in supermarket this morning!
I think we British deserve an award for our ability to produce black humour in difficult times.
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Westi » Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:45 pm

Now we procrastinate about which roll! :)
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby tigerburnie » Sun Mar 15, 2020 10:55 am

The panic-buying of toilet rolls is a problem. I was in Tesco earlier and there wasn't any to be found on the shelves, searched all the ends of aisles up and down the store too. I asked at the information desk as well after a bit of a wait to ask if they'd got any out the back. No chance but she was a bit short with me.



It was pretty embarrassing walking back to the gents with my trousers around my ankles.
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby oldherbaceous » Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:17 am

Morning Tigerburnie, my Mum had the same problem yesterday at Tesco's, wanted toilet rolls and paracetemol for her pain, they had neither...and since we only have one bus a week a real nuisance for her...we will see what we can get for her tomorrow, when we go shopping.
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Primrose
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Primrose » Sun Mar 15, 2020 12:32 pm

This wont solve the shortage problem but may help to make each roll last a little longer.

Squash each roll into an oval shape before putting it on the roller.
Then fix it oNto the roller with the loose end hanging at the back (against the wall) rather than at the front.

This makes it doubly difficult to pull off a dozen sheets at a time.

For liquids only: pull off one sheet, fold in half, then in half again and use as a dabbing pad. Wash your hands afterwards obviously!

It does work but I can confirm it's irritating! . However we may have to put up with ever greater irritants than this before this epidemic is over so perhaps time to develop a few new habits !

In a real emergency using those packets of pocket size nose blowing tissues might substitute but not newspaper, kitchen roll or wet wipes as they don,t dissolve and will quickly block sewers.

Somebody has just sent me a video clip of a man in a pub about to buy a pint of beer. He pulls a loo roll out of his pocket and carefully pulls off three separate sheets of loo paper to pay for it!
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby snooky » Tue Mar 17, 2020 9:51 pm

TOM HANKS, Survived 4 years in an island alone, Got AIDS in Philadelphia. Landed a airplane in the Hudson River. In Vietnam he rescued LT Dan. He was kidnapped by Somalies. He survived Apollo 13 Trying to make it to the moon. If this guy dies on us from the Corona Virus we are all pretty much screwed!
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby peter » Wed Mar 18, 2020 1:11 am

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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Primrose » Wed Mar 18, 2020 12:08 pm

If nothing else I think this crisis will help restore our national British black sense of humour ! After 3 months of self isolation ai think some of us will badly need it !
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alan refail
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby alan refail » Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:32 am

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Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)

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