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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Mon Dec 23, 2019 7:04 pm
by Monika
Husband and Wife are Christmas shopping. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on his mobile.
The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewellers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up…
"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.
"Well I am in the pub next door to that."
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 10:56 am
by Shallot Man
Monika. A man after my own heart.
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 4:49 pm
by oldherbaceous
Me too, Shallot Man
...that did make me chuckle, Monika...
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Tue Dec 24, 2019 5:32 pm
by alan refail
He's making a list
He's checking it twice
Gonna find out who's naughty or nice
Santa Claus is in violation of the General Data Protection Regulation (EU) 2016/679
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 12:47 pm
by Stephen
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 12:48 pm
by Stephen
Meanwhile a Christmas cracker riddle:
What does father Christmas suffer from when he gets stuck in a chimney?
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 12:52 pm
by oldherbaceous
Is it flue!!!
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 12:56 pm
by Stephen
He sees you when you're sleeping
And he knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So he is also being investigated under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997, Section 2A
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 12:59 pm
by Stephen
Ver good OH, but it isn't the answer given!
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 1:00 pm
by Stephen
And what do you call two rows of brassicsas planted at 6" spacing?
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 2:10 pm
by Geoff
Claustrophobia
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 2:14 pm
by oldherbaceous
Hot flushes..
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 3:26 pm
by Geoff
A misprint?
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 4:20 pm
by alan refail
Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 11:57 pm
by Stephen
Excellent
