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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2019 7:46 pm
by peter
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 4:18 pm
by Primrose
A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying,
“I regret that I cannot remember which one you are. Please keep your photo and return the others.”

Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Posted: Sat Aug 10, 2019 8:08 am
by Shallot Man
Primrose wrote:A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying,
“I regret that I cannot remember which one you are. Please keep your photo and return the others.”


In my National Service day's it was called a "Dear John" letter.

Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Posted: Sun Aug 18, 2019 5:57 pm
by peter
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Posted: Sun Aug 18, 2019 6:14 pm
by alan refail
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Posted: Sun Aug 18, 2019 6:59 pm
by Geoff
Had a boss once who used to get mixed up between Ann Summers and Sue Ryder. Proudly declared one year he had managed to do most of his Christmas shopping at Ann Summers.

Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Posted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 9:02 pm
by alan refail
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Posted: Fri Aug 23, 2019 7:16 am
by alan refail
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Posted: Mon Aug 26, 2019 12:36 pm
by peter
Watch out for these...

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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2019 11:01 am
by alan refail
Funny but so true in world as it has become :(


Image

Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2019 2:00 pm
by robo
Someone has to keep us idiots in work

Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 7:23 pm
by snooky
The seven dwarfs




The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.
Grumpy leads the pack.

'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'

Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome ?'

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome .'

In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.

Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?'

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe .

'This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.

Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr.. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'

The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting......

'Grumpy shagged a penguin!'

'Grumpy shagged a penguin."

Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 8:38 am
by Shallot Man
snooky. Brilliant. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 8:24 pm
by snooky
Joke



The Swede's wife stepped up to the tee and, as she bent over to place her ball, a gust of wind blew her skirt up and revealed her lack of underwear.
"Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?", Ole demanded.
"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any," she replied. The Swede immediately reached into his pocket and said, "For the sake of decency, here's a $50. Go and buy yourself some underwear."

Next, the Irishman's wife bent over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blew up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?" She replied, "I can't afford any on the little money you give me." Patrick reached into his pocket and
said, "For the sake of decency, here's a $20. Go out and buy yourself some underwear!"

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bent over. The wind also took her
skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked. "Sweet mudder of Jaysus,Aggie! Where the friggin hell are yer drawers?" She too explained, 'You dinna give me enough money to be able at affarrd any." The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and said, "Well, fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit.."

Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 10:48 pm
by peter
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