Kitchen Garden Forum

Amazing, appears to take 2 minutes less if you speak Welsh

Three surgeons are discussing what kinds of patients are the easiest for operations.

The first surgeon said, "Electricians are the easiest. Everything inside is color coded."

The second surgeon said, "No, librarians are the easiest. Everything inside is in alphabetical order."

The third surgeon said, "No, politicians are by far the easiest. There's no heart, no guts, no spine, no brain, and no balls. Plus, the head and ass are interchangeable."

alan refail wrote:Three surgeons are discussing what kinds of patients are the easiest for operations.

The first surgeon said, "Electricians are the easiest. Everything inside is color coded."

The second surgeon said, "No, librarians are the easiest. Everything inside is in alphabetical order."

The third surgeon said, "No, politicians are by far the easiest. There's no heart, no guts, no spine, no brain, and no balls. Plus, the head and ass are interchangeable."

Looking how they are all performing now. Can quiet believe it.

Because you spend two minutes trying to fathom the gobbledegook before you notice the English.

Two from the Gargrave and Coniston Cold Parish magazine:

What bishops do
We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former vicars and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our vicar had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?"
There was silence. Finally, one little boy ventured, "He's the one you can move diagonally."

Parking
A man was driving down the street in a panic because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up toward heaven, he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me somewhere to park, I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life." Miraculously, a parking place appeared. The man looked up again and said, "Never mind. I found one".

A Yorkshire farmer's wife had called the doctor because her husband Fred's life was slowly ebbing away. The doctors duly arrived, examined the patient and gently told his wife,
"I am afraid Fred has passed away peacefully", when a mumbled voice came from the bed,
"Nay, A'm not a gonner yet".
To which his wife : "Thee shut up, Fred, doctor knows best".

" Richard don't lay out there like that dear, what will the neighbours think. Come in and add fuel to the fire"

R I P
Clive Swift
aka Richard Bucket

Comedy with a serious message.

Michelangelo's statue of David returns home

When your sense of humour gets you into trouble




A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.The man replied..."Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..
..I just lost it......."