Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

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Stephen
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Stephen » Sat Jun 13, 2020 8:52 pm

Unlikely premise Alan! Cashing a cheque, how antiquated!
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby peter » Sat Jun 13, 2020 9:09 pm

Stephen wrote:Unlikely premise Alan! Cashing a cheque, how antiquated!


He was doing a favour for Jacob Rees-Mogg.
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby snooky » Mon Jun 15, 2020 8:45 pm

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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Colin2016 » Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:03 pm

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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby snooky » Thu Jul 09, 2020 10:15 pm

Always wear pyjamas in bed!!
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Stephen » Thu Jul 09, 2020 10:19 pm

Hmm...
I confess, in summer I wear the Emperor's new pajamas in bed. Maybe I need to reconsider this option. :lol: (NO, it isn't me in that shot!)
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby robo » Fri Jul 10, 2020 12:53 pm

I wonder if I’m to old to enrol as a fireman
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby peter » Fri Jul 10, 2020 5:24 pm

robo wrote:I wonder if I’m to old to enrol as a fireman


One of my nicest young (distant) work colleagues left our Emergency Planning section yesterday to join LFB, naively I asked if she was going to be in charge of something similar there.
No she us joining the firefighter training programme and her long term ambition is to do some good in the world like the firefighters who go abroad to help in earthquakes and other natural disasters!
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alan refail
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby alan refail » Sun Jul 12, 2020 2:33 pm

SEX AFTER DEATH
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.

True to his word, he made the first contact.

“Marion, Marion?”

"Is that you, Bob?”

“Yes, I've come back as we agreed."

“That's wonderful! What's it like there?”

"Well, I get up in the morning and I have sex. I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.Then I have lunch (you'd be proud -- lots of greens!) Another romp around the golf course, then I pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again.”

"Oh, Bob! Are you in Heaven?"

“No … I'm a bloody rabbit on a golf course in Scotland."
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Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby snooky » Wed Jul 15, 2020 11:48 pm

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snooky
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby snooky » Sun Aug 02, 2020 12:35 am

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Stephen
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Stephen » Fri Sep 04, 2020 2:29 pm

If Tommy Cooper were alive...
"Doctor, doctor, I'm adicted to Twitter & Instagram"
"I'm sorry, I don't follow you."
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby John » Fri Sep 04, 2020 2:47 pm

And now for something completely different

A well set-up family hire a marriage broker for their son.
The marriage-broker goes away and comes back with a picture of a beautiful young woman.
He tells the family, 'She's popular. She's beautiful. She's from a good family. She's perfect!'
Then the son butted in and said, 'Yes, but is she good in bed?'
And the marriage-broker says, 'Some say yes, some say no...'

Barry Cryer joke in 'The Oldie' mag

John
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alan refail
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby alan refail » Fri Sep 04, 2020 8:40 pm

Llandudno's feral Kashmiri goats vainly queuing for a quick trim during lockdown.

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Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
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snooky
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby snooky » Sun Sep 06, 2020 5:16 pm

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WARNING.!!... The above post may contain an opinion

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