Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Moderators: KG Steve, Chantal, Tigger, peter, Chief Spud
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oldherbaceous
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Bah Humbug.....I love sprouts but, not sure about that....
Kind Regards, Old Herbaceous.
There's no fool like an old fool.
There's no fool like an old fool.
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tigerburnie
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That ice cream will finish off the deep fried Christmas dinners that quite a few Scots chippies have been doing, including mince pies and Turkish delight deep fried in batter...……..yuk.
Been gardening for over 65 years and still learning.
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snooky
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Hanging out!
A blonde was walking down the street. A policeman was walking the opposite way.
“Hmmm,” he wondered, “It looks as if that lady’s right breast is hanging out of her bikini top.” As he got closer,
he realized it was. He approached her. He said, “Ma’am, do you understand your right breast is hanging out of
your bikini?” She replied, “Oh heck. I left the baby on the bus!”..
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A blonde was walking down the street. A policeman was walking the opposite way.
“Hmmm,” he wondered, “It looks as if that lady’s right breast is hanging out of her bikini top.” As he got closer,
he realized it was. He approached her. He said, “Ma’am, do you understand your right breast is hanging out of
your bikini?” She replied, “Oh heck. I left the baby on the bus!”..
.
Regards snooky
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A balanced diet is a beer in both hands!
WARNING.!!... The above post may contain an opinion
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A balanced diet is a beer in both hands!
WARNING.!!... The above post may contain an opinion
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peter
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- FB_IMG_1546083134307.jpg (97.11 KiB) Viewed 4800 times
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
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Primrose
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This made me laugh. I think I should turn it into a large poster and pin it to the gate of our local park. Maybe some of the inconsiderate dog walkers who never collect their dog's droppings would then take some notice !!
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peter
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Stephen wrote:Shouldn't it be rolled in glitter? After all you can not polish it!
Alas, all that glitters is not gold!
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
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Primrose
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WHY SENIORS NEVER CHANGE THEIR PASSWORD.
WINDOWS:
Please enter your new password.
USER :
Cabbage
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER:
Boiled cabbage
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Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER:
1 boiled cabbage
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Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces
USER:
50damnboiledcabbages
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Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character
USER:
50DAMNboiledcabbages
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Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER:
50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow !
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USER:
ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
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WINDOWS:
Please enter your new password.
USER :
Cabbage
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER:
Boiled cabbage
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER:
1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces
USER:
50damnboiledcabbages
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character
USER:
50DAMNboiledcabbages
WINDOWS:
Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER:
50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow !
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER:
ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
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alan refail
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Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
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alan refail
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- wheel.jpg (57.85 KiB) Viewed 4648 times
Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
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alan refail
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- Location: Chwilog Gogledd Orllewin Cymru Northwest Wales
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Brits abroad. True or not it's worth a laugh.
Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
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snooky
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Visiting the Doctor
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.
A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said
"Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick" he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that".
"Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you" he said.
The Receptionist replied ''Now you have caused some needless embarrassment in this room full of people, You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private".
The man replied "You should not ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone".
The man then decided to walk out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked "Yes??'
"There's something wrong with my ear" He stated loudly.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.
"What is wrong with your ear, Sir?''
'I can't piss out of it" he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.
A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said
"Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick" he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that".
"Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you" he said.
The Receptionist replied ''Now you have caused some needless embarrassment in this room full of people, You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private".
The man replied "You should not ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone".
The man then decided to walk out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked "Yes??'
"There's something wrong with my ear" He stated loudly.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.
"What is wrong with your ear, Sir?''
'I can't piss out of it" he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter
Regards snooky
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A balanced diet is a beer in both hands!
WARNING.!!... The above post may contain an opinion
---------------------------------
A balanced diet is a beer in both hands!
WARNING.!!... The above post may contain an opinion
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alan refail
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The benefits of speaking Welsh
1 - You walk a lot quicker!
1 - You walk a lot quicker!
Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)