Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

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snooky
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Two old ladies have been chatting sat on a park bench for a few hours. One of the Ladies stands up and says " my bum has gone to sleep".
" Yes I know" replied the other. " I heard it snoring a few times"
Regards snooky

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Primrose
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An elderly Italian man living alone in New Jersey wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Stephen
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:lol:
I've probably heard it before but it is very funny.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
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Primrose
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I'm finding digging the vegetable plot a bit beyond me. I was wondering whether I should lock my husband away for a few days to see if similar help arrives round here but knowing the infrequency with which we see any patrolling police, the weeds would end up being pretty tall!
esdtips55
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Everything elementary simple is often more funny :D
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Primrose
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Looking out of the wi dow with the rain streaming down and reading the national news there isn,t much to cheer us.
Please scratch your heads everybody and come up with something to cheer us up.
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alan refail
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Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
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Primrose
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That would definitely send me rushing for the Imodium!
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snooky
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A police officer called the station on his radio.

"I have an interesting case here. A lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."

"Have you arrested the woman?"

"Not yet. The floor's still wet."
Regards snooky

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A balanced diet is a beer in both hands!
WARNING.!!... The above post may contain an opinion
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snooky
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Regards snooky

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A balanced diet is a beer in both hands!
WARNING.!!... The above post may contain an opinion
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oldherbaceous
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I knew a girl very much like that, once... :)
Kind Regards, Old Herbaceous.

There's no fool like an old fool.
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Cheeky ........
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peter
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And a topical pop quiz one......

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