Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

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Westi
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Westi » Wed Dec 14, 2016 6:58 pm

Clever Alan & Tony!

You've got to love the British for turning any situation into a joke! Us Aussie's used to think we were pretty clever & we are; but you know the heritage!

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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Westi » Sat Dec 31, 2016 5:51 pm

I'm pretty speechless! Really? And can someone explain the 'and may contain nuts' bit? And there German as well so can't excuse the translation from Chinese.

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Geoff
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Geoff » Sat Dec 31, 2016 6:17 pm

Peanuts aren't nuts. Perhaps these can be contaminated with nuts. Of course most people with a so called nut allergy react to peanuts, not sure if they react to nuts as well. I think the label 'may contain nuts' has to be added to anything that may have peanuts in. Nuts!
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Shallot Man » Sat Dec 31, 2016 6:45 pm

Whatever happened to commonsense.
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Primrose » Sat Dec 31, 2016 6:50 pm

Editorial comment: In the USA missing children's photo details, etc are printed on the sides of milk cartons.
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Westi
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Westi » Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:39 pm

Funny Primrose! :) :)
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JohnN
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby JohnN » Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:10 am

A friend sent me this one …

During a lull between the speeches at the recent presidential
swearing-in ceremony, Melania Trump leaned over to chat
with the Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson.
"Ya know, I bought Donald a parrot for Christmas. That bird is
so smart, Donald has already taught him to pronounce over two
hundred words!"
"Wow, that's pretty impressive," said Tillerson, "but, you do
realize that he just speaks the words, ...he doesn't really
understand what they mean."
"Oh, I know," Melania replied, "Neither does the parrot."
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Geoff
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Geoff » Sat Jan 28, 2017 5:27 pm

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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Beryl » Mon Jan 30, 2017 2:28 pm

https://www.facebook.com/andy.seatherto ... 753751582/

I think this must be one of Southern's trains.

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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Monika » Mon Jan 30, 2017 9:59 pm

Letter in one of the daily papers today, on Theresa May holding Donald Trump's hand:

I think Mrs May was just making sure she knew where his hand was.
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Gerry » Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:58 pm

I remember the corned beef of my childhood
And the bread that we cut with a knife
When the children helped with the housework
And the men went to work, not the wife
The cheese never needed a fridge
And the bread was so crusty and hot
The children were seldom unhappy
And the wife was content with her lot.

I remember the milk from the bottle
With the yummy cream on the top
Our dinner came hot from the oven
And not from the freezer or shop
The kids were a lot more contented
They didn't need money for kicks
Just a game with their friends on the road
And sometimes the Saturday flicks.

I remember the slap on my backside
And the taste of the soap if I swore
Anorexia and diets weren't heard of
And we hadn't much choice what we wore.

Do you think that bruised our ego
Or our initiative was destroyed?
We ate what was put on the table
And I think life was better enjoyed.
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby tigerburnie » Mon Feb 20, 2017 12:51 pm

Amen to that Gerry( are we still allowed to say Amen?)oops said it again lol.
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Geoff
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby Geoff » Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:16 pm

I think you'll find that should be Apeople.
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby robo » Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:00 pm

Pat said to Mick "what's that you have there mick"
Mick replied " it a thing called a thermos flask"
What douse it do Mick
It keeps hot things hot and cold thing cold
What have you got in it Mick
I have 2 cups of tea an ice cream
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Re: Please can we have some more 'funnies'?

Postby peter » Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:36 pm

Risqué one.

According to a professional comedian of my acquaintance one of the first jokes banned by the BBC.

"Did you hear about the architect who had his house made backwards so he could watch TV? "
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