Please can we have some more 'funnies'?
Moderators: KG Steve, Chantal, Tigger, peter, Chief Spud
- peter
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Rather amuses me that media employees think a trampoline taking flight means the wind is unusually strong. The damage In the Welsh static caravan park was way more impressive.
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
- Pa Snip
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Depressive in fact I dare say for those involved,
I mean its not as if the trampoline had achieved great flight status is it!!!! ..............it was only on top of a bungalow !!!!
I mean its not as if the trampoline had achieved great flight status is it!!!! ..............it was only on top of a bungalow !!!!
The danger when people start to believe their own publicity is that they often fall off their own ego.
At least travelling under the guise of the Pa Snip Enterprise gives me an excuse for appearing to be on another planet
- peter
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Mmm, insensitive wording on my part, I was looking at it from the effect of the wind, not the effect on people.
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
- Pa Snip
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Easy done
The danger when people start to believe their own publicity is that they often fall off their own ego.
At least travelling under the guise of the Pa Snip Enterprise gives me an excuse for appearing to be on another planet
- Shallot Man
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Geoff. Brilliant.
- alan refail
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Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
- JohnN
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A question in the Q&A column of a recent newspaper.
"Every toilet cleaner I buy tells me that it kills "99.9% of all known germs. What's the 1000th germ that leads such a charmed life?"
Answer: It's just been elected President of the United States.
"Every toilet cleaner I buy tells me that it kills "99.9% of all known germs. What's the 1000th germ that leads such a charmed life?"
Answer: It's just been elected President of the United States.
- peter
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On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting, they start to wonder: Could they get married in Heaven? When St. Peter shows up, they immediately ask him.
St. Peter replies, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out.” He leaves.
The couple sat and waited for St. Peter to return, but he never did. 9 weeks later, and the couple were still waiting. They started to wonder, if things didn’t work out, could they get a divorce in heaven? Another month later, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
“Yes,” he informs the couple. “You can get married in Heaven.”
“Awesome!” the couple responds enthusiastically. “But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”
St. Peter’s face suddenly turned red with anger. He slammed his clipboard to the ground. Frightened, the couple asked “What’s wrong?”
“OH, COME ON!” St. Peter shouted. “It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?"
While waiting, they start to wonder: Could they get married in Heaven? When St. Peter shows up, they immediately ask him.
St. Peter replies, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out.” He leaves.
The couple sat and waited for St. Peter to return, but he never did. 9 weeks later, and the couple were still waiting. They started to wonder, if things didn’t work out, could they get a divorce in heaven? Another month later, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
“Yes,” he informs the couple. “You can get married in Heaven.”
“Awesome!” the couple responds enthusiastically. “But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”
St. Peter’s face suddenly turned red with anger. He slammed his clipboard to the ground. Frightened, the couple asked “What’s wrong?”
“OH, COME ON!” St. Peter shouted. “It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?"
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
- JohnN
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For those of you who didn't watch "Have I got news for you" there was a lovely response to the, apparently genuine, news that North Korea is selling powdered dog in pots you just add hot water to, and get "dog soup"!
"Is that going to be known as Not Poodle".
"Is that going to be known as Not Poodle".
I heard on the news yesterday that the best cracker joke this Christmas is:
Q: How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?
A: No Brussels.
How funny you find this, however, may depend perhaps on whether you're a Remainer or a Brexiter
Q: How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?
A: No Brussels.
How funny you find this, however, may depend perhaps on whether you're a Remainer or a Brexiter
- Pa Snip
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OR
to put it another way........................................ are you a lover of brussels
This year, now we've given brussels a cold frosty front, I am enjoying
to put it another way........................................ are you a lover of brussels
This year, now we've given brussels a cold frosty front, I am enjoying
The danger when people start to believe their own publicity is that they often fall off their own ego.
At least travelling under the guise of the Pa Snip Enterprise gives me an excuse for appearing to be on another planet
- alan refail
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Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)