My house is on fire!

[Chantal]

My chimney's on fire and I have firemen everywhere. A lump of wood against the chimney in the loft caught fire but they've put that out. It's been half an hour now and I'm trying not to get hysterical!

[guest]

...but you're still posting messages on this site. You're either a very dedicated gardener or...

I hope the firemen put it out

[guest]

...I posted my repley at 19:50 by my clock but its time stamped 19:21 on the site ... nows where did I leave my tardis

[Chantal]

I have wireless broadband and am trying to do things to keep me sane. So far this week:

My chicken laid and oversized egg, prolapsed and died.

I found a couple of frogs mating in my pond this afternoon. Great, except the female was very very dead. My neighbour who's a marine biologist decided to separate them and the females head fell off.

And now my bloody house is on fire!!!!

My cat is locked in my car having hysterics.

My neighbours are agog.

I have two firemen on my roof, two in my attic and one bunging up my fireplace.

I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY !!!!!

[oldherbaceous]

Chantal i was just going to tell everyone that i've been doing toast in front of a roaring log fire, but this probaly isn't the best time.

Hope you get it sorted ok.

A very concerned Old herbaceous.

It will either rain or get dark.

[Chantal]

They've put it all out, it took about 1.5 hours to make everything safe and now the shock is starting to set in. I keep thinking of the what ifs. I'm not hysterical any more, just very tearful. I need another drink I think. Thanks for your concern.

[Guest]

This happened to me the day I brought my first born from hospital we lived in a brick built house but with a wooden shingle roof ! the firemen (retained) told hubby he at better get it sorted before I came home after seeing the congrats cards he had to admit I was home but at a neighbours! we burned logs and he had banked the fire up for the baby we had no central heating then!!!!!!! the plaster cracked the bedrooms filled with smoke and now we can laugh ! the objection the fire service had it was training night and they wouldn't get any extra pay! I hope in time you will be able to laugh too take care, be happy regards g

[Tigger]

Oh Chantal - this brings back vivid memories which might raise a laugh. I'll probably regret this posting, but here goes...........

We live in a very rural position. We moved into this house in 1985 and it needed complete renovation. For years we lived in a building site (still do in some parts). In the late 1980's I was having a rare day's leave at home that didn't involve knocking something down or building, shovelling or barrowing. I had great hopes of retail therapy, lunch, more retail therapy.

Just as I was about to leave the house, I noticed a smell. Our newly discovered inglenook fireplace chimney was on fire in 3 places - just above the woodburner, at the top of the chimney and somewhere in between. Well trained as I am, I got the hose out and went about putting out the fires. I extinguished the lowest one easily and reached the middle one by accessing it through a metal door on the outside of the chimney. However, I couldn't get the top one as our house is 3 stories high and built into a bank behind which is a large, natural, wild pond. So there was no choice left, I had to dial 999.

I kept a look out for the firebrigade and - as expected - they went past the end of our lane. I waved - they ignored me. Past again - wave - nothing, and so on. Eventually they 'phoned for directions which I dutifully gave adding 'don't worry - I'm putting more wood on as we speak, so you'll be able to find us by the smoke signals'.

By the time they arrived, they were not amused. I don't think their mood was helped by my comment about pointed hats and pointed heads. They proceeded to empty the woodburner, transferring the hot ashes across my leather furniture and depositing them on my newly laid lawn. They then flooded the place with water and left.

We now had as much work to complete as we had 2 years earlier so I had a shower, changed and went off to hit the shops big time.

I quickly acquired a number of carrier bags and then had the urge to visit the Ladies. Unfortunately, they had been experiencing some plumbing problems and the floors were awash. I was taught as a little girl never to actually sit on the loo seat - always hover, so this I attempted to do, complete with sodden floors and multiple bags of shopping. I was quite impressed with my ability to balance, until it came time to leave the cubicle when I discovered that I hadn't lowered my trousers sufficiently and they were now as wet as the floor, but from a different source.

You can imagine the final picture - confidently walking to the car park with shopping, wet trousers, head held high and a certain aroma following.

It's a day I'll never forget!

[Chantal]

Thanks Tigger, what would I do without you.

I've calmed down a lot, the rioja has helped enormously. What has really scared me is the firemen telling me that the pointing around the fire hatch in the attic has had it's chips and that smoke has been escaping into the attic for some time. I now have to get the chimney checked out and the repointing fixed before I can even think about relighting the fire. What's more, I am apparently uninsured as I burn wood in a smokeless zone. Not that I need insurance, this time...

[Tigger]

You're in good company girl. We lined our chimney with stainless steel after the fire, but only up to the second floor. We've now got smoke leaks into our bedroom on the third floor. It hasn't been a problem because we have oil central heating and the fire's there as a feature - until this year's fuel bills which have increased by 350%, so we've been running the woodburner round the clock to reduce the demand on oil.

Shall I go on to tell you about the water coming in through the brickwork to our sitting room (2nd floor) and dripping into the ground floor dining room? Maybe not.

Happy days.

[Chantal]

Is it expensive to have the chimney lined? How do they do it? We use the fire in the kitchen every day from autumn through until spring, despite having central heating. We cook on it too. I'd rather be safe than sorry, what do I do?

[pigletwillie]

chanters,

deepest sympathy from us as we bask in the glow of finest welsh anthracite

The pointing issue shouldnt be too bad but get it swept before you point as this will expose any other weak points in your chimney.

As your fire is nfg until repaired, you might as well bring your wood to Malvern for us to take home and burn, especially as Tigger is burning day and night.

Seriously though, we hope all is well, drink plenty of Rioja and sleep well and just remember, it could have been worse - it could have been me

[Tigger]

You've used that one before Piglet (please note - good observation skills). As for coal - we had a barn full of the stuff and gave it away when we swapped to oil - silly people us. We have lots of hardwood as himself works mainly with that, but we also have to buy logs for the Pizza oven (Birch is best, Ash next), so we're raiding the log pile.

Chantal - you can buy the s/s liner to length. It's like a giant slinky, if your memory is good, and beyond that, I know nothing. I'm just the labourer, but I'll ask him indoors when he's finished watching this week's golf lessons (with his eyes closed, probably).

[Chantal]

Thanks guys. Piglet you can have all the wood I have, not a lot but highly combustible!

[the grock in a frock]

oh chaza you poor hen,i hope everything is o.k ,i know this might sound weird but no-one was hurt and if the place did go up its only mateareal things that get lost and not a life.quite a few years ago now ,me eldest son turned the wrong ring on on the cooker instead of the grill,he cooked his toast and turned the grill off but didnt know the ring with the chip pan on it was still on.it was xmas eve morning and we were going to town to get his new trainies and my husband and middle girl were fast a bo bows in bed.i told james to get his coat which was in the back room under the stairs when i heared a screem.i ran out only to find him sticking the now alight chip pan into the sink and him turning the tap on,i screemed no,but it was too late and the pan exploded into flames which set alight my window blinds,which exploded into a big blast right across the kitchen ceiling and all over my son.