Lizzie's welcome home tea party for Grock.

[Anonymous]

You youngsters are making me feel that I've got one foot in the grave, and the other on a bar of soap!

Come November me and ole dearly beloved will be going for Ruby (ie the 40th anniversary).

I have a wonderful State pension of £3.08 per week, paid annually, without interest. I am (against my wishes) part of Gordon Brown's public sector borrowing.

valmarg

[lizzie]

Poor old Grock

Don't worry flower, i'm only a few months behind you.

Hopefully, Anita will have remembered to bring back your birthday present from Peru. If not, i'm stuffed.

You'll love it. It's just like you. Original, one of a kind and really, really LOUD!!!!!!!

Cheer up you old buggar. We all love you

[peter]

Lizzie, why oh why are you masquerading under a picture of Grock?


Pass me a large scotch, and line a couple more up.

Work problems, elderly mother problems, sister really - really depressed.

Sons U-12's unbeaten at Richmond RFU festival, but on try difference did not get into finals.

England beaten by the frogs.

Seed potatoes not yet arrived.

Make that line a lot up, and put that piglet in charge of the catering.

[pigletwillie]

Catering, me, now your talking,

I do a range of organic-ish marinated moderator burgers and sausages, served with frilly lettuce and sweetcorn relish in a sesame seed bun.

[Tigger]

Now Piglet - you know what happens to pigs that mess with moderators. You'll be the catered rather than the caterer.

[lizzie]

If it's scotch you're talking Grock will be right behind you. She likes a drop (or flagon) of scotch.

As for moderator burgers, go on Piglet, i'll give one a bash. Can I have some chilli sauce on mine please

[pigletwillie]

you will need chilli sauce, they have a funny taste and are a bit tough. You will need your new teeth in.

[lizzie]

Oh, careful Piglet. Those new mods are tough you know. They'll chop off your trotters.

Mind you, you could always bash them a bit to tenderise the meat before bbqing

[peter]

Are moderators a bit like puffer-fish?


An aquired taste, need a lot of skilfull filleting to remove the poisonous bits and get the edible bits.
If you leave the wrong bit in they blow you up.

Lizzie, I repeat why is your avatar, Grocks, passport photo?

[lizzie]

Got no idea Peter.

I just thought it was a nice picture

Grock's going to kill me now

[the grock in a frock]

peter i wouldnt mind if that was my passport pic ,it would be a lot better than the one ive just gotten through the post,and to rub salt in the wounds,they sent back me old one from when i was young and beautiful and used to kill virgins then bathe in their blood,but l.pool seems to have ran out of virgins and ive turned into an old hag.heeellpppp

[pigletwillie]

Lizzie did say you were an old hag and had a face fit only to chop wood on.

Beauty though, is in the eye of the beholder and when I beheld yours I thought you were beautiful. In fact Grock, I think your gorgeous, any chance of a copy of that passport photo to hang up in my shed, next to Nigella Lawson

[peter]

Grock, good to have you back, ..... again.

Puter being naughty still?

As an IT professional I do find that going out to the tool shed, rooting around, taking the 2lb lump hammer back indoors and introducing it nicely to the puter, with some encouraging words along the lines of !you two are going to be better aquainted if puter does not start working" has absolutely no effect, but does make you feel a bit better.

[Chantal]

Just thump it. That's called "percussion maintenance" in IT terms I believe...

[peat]

Peter
I get some funny looks when I go into the computer shop and ask for the essential tool to go with my computer. They ask "what?" and I say a 14lb sledgehammer
Pete