What do you think?

[lizzie]

I've been discussing this with the family but would be interested to see what others think.

I have 2 veggies in the house to cook for but i'm a dedicated carcas cruncher. With food prices being the way they are, I find i'm eating more veggie food than meat simply because of budgeting for the weekly meal plans. I cook everything from scratch and the only packets of stuff is rice, pasta, cuscous and tins of tomatoes.

I have nothing against veggie food as much of it is very tasty. So, here's the nub of the problem.

I feel that I am being backed into a corner because i've been made to compromise but the veggies are not. With the price of food the way it is, and everyone feeling the pinch with inflation, higher fuel prices, higher petrol etc, I feel that the veggies should make a compromise and eat meat occasionally. But they refuse to budge and, frankly, i'm starting to resent the matter.

It feels like i'm being dictated to and I don't think that's fair. I only eat organic, free range meat but do so only 2-3 times per month.

What do other think about this. I'll probably carry on as I am, but I feel that i'm being forced to become veggie against my will through other peoples wants and principles. I think they should give a little and eat meat now and then. After all, man is a natural carnivore.

What's your views? I'd be very interested to know

[Johnboy]

Hi Lizzie,
Cook your meat dishes when you want them and make the vegetarians cook their own meals occasionally.
If a vegetarian is one by conscience then you will never get them to eat meat and it would be unfair to even expect it. On the other hand if you say to them I'm cooking 'whatever meat' tonight so if you do not want this then you must cook your own meal.
I have a vegetarian in the family who even brings his own pots and pans when he visits. I make no provision for him since he refused to eat his nut cutlet I had cooked for him because I cut it with the carving knife although it had been washed and dried prior to cutting. He will not cook in our oven because we have cooked meat in it. He has not visited for about 18 months probably because he was moaning about having to use my oven so I told him to sod off out of my kitchen! The dear boy seems to have taken it to heart.
JB.

[Chantal]

I agree JB. I was a vegetarian for a few years, but only because I was being a health freak and not because of conscience. This meant if I went out for dinner I ate what I was given and if my mum was cooking for us I would just eat everything except the meat. When I cooked or bought food out then I ate veggie.

However, as JB says, if you get a conscience vegetarian you'll not budge them. I've seen someone start retching 'cos they accidentally put a fork full of beef instead of quorn chilli in their mouth. I know one lovely guy who's a committed vegan to the point the he won't even sit on leather furniture. I don't know how he survives, but it's his call.

Good luck Lizzie

[richard p]

hi lizzie, if its only a few times a month as far as i can see the others have three choices, eat what you cook, go hungry, or fix something them selves

[goldilox]

Dear Lizzie,
I'm not a vegetarian because I eat fish and seafood. However, I haven't eaten meat or poultry at all for over 12 years, not necessarily because of conscience but because of family health history and because I really don't enjoy it. If something has to die for me to survive then I should at least enjoy it.
I never expect anyone to cook specially for me to the point where I will offer to take my own food if necessary.
You don't say how old your vegetarians are, but I would say if they're old enough to decide not to eat meat, they're old enough to prepare their own food occasionally.
I do sometimes prepare meat meals for other people - maybe they could treat you now and then (even a bacon sandwich is probably within their capabilities).
Living in perhaps one of the worst countries in the world for vegetarians, I'm aware I have to make allowances, i.e. the vegetable soup in restaurants has usually been made with chicken or ham stock - it's my choice whether I eat it or not.
I think if your veggies are hungry enough, they'll either eat what you want sometimes or make their own. But whatever you do, don't change your way of eating all the time - you're not being fair to yourself and, as you've found, it will eventually lead to resentment.
Enjoy your meat Lizzie,
Love,
Chris

[retropants]

Dear Lizzie, as a veggie myself, I do sympathise with your dilemma. I am very fussy and will not cook meat at all (sorry dinner guests!). However, when the family come over for Christmas, my mum brings the turkey over, cooked, still hot in the tray, and they all get on with it! For you to have to go with out is clearly unfair. So on the days when you fancy a casserole or similar, your veggies could make something for themselves, and if they are children, it would be good learning experience for them to cook for themselves occasionally. My dinner guests have never complained about having to eat veggie at my house, and one couple actually go out of their way to make something that I can eat (I am also lactose intolerant, but thats a whole other can of worms)when we go to their's for dinner. Hope you can work something out

[heyjude]

I was in Lapland a few years ago with a group that included several very committed vegetarians who complained that there was nothing for them to eat. The message from the chef was: "What do they mean there isn't a vegetarian alternative? They can eat potatoes can't they!?"

We've got a vegetarian who is also wheat intolerant in our family. It's not a bother at home (I cook, she cooks, though she doesn't cook meat) but it's sometimes a hassle out because the veggie alternative is so often a pie or flan of some kind or pasta and sauce. But we have one favourite local restaurant that will always make her something and another (further and more of a treat) where we have taken a jar of gluten-free pasta and the chef has cooked it very willingly to go with his spectacular spring vegetable sauce.

I think being a veggie is a matter of choice. You have the right to make that choice but it is NOT the moral high ground. We find people are pretty kind to veggies but carnivores have rights as well!

[lizzie]

Thanks for the opinions everyone. The youngest veggie is 12 and he's not a bad little cook. If i'm too unwell to cook he can sort himself out with a healthy veggie meal.

I do all the cooking, my partner hasn't cooked a meal for 10 years (another bone of contention for another day). When he says that he'll cook i'll say that, as I sometimes cook meat for me, I would like him to do the same. Fairs fair, but he won't. That's why I think it's very unfair at the moment. Personally, there's nothing like a beautiful piece of beef cooked to perfection.

Anyway, feel that things need to be resolved otherwise I can feel a rebellion coming on

[retropants]

I really do sympathise Lizzie, my DH can only manage chips or pizza in the oven, he wouldn't know what to do with an knife and a pile of veggies! So I do all the cooking too. I have just about managed to train him to do the washing up, but he only remembers to do it as he hears my key in the lock (he finishes work earlier than I do!)Oh well, I make him take out the rubbish and sort the recycling, oh and chop the firewood, cos the boiler's gone again

[Chantal]

I have the opposite problem as Tim always wants to cook when we eat together. No problem as he's a good cook but he considers chips count as "vegetables" whereas I think you need green stuff too I cook for myself but just do dishwasher loading when Tim is around as if I do cook he's always asking what I'm doing, telling me how I should be doing it and running the severe risk of assault with a deadly weapon. So, the path of least resistance involves not arguing and letting him get on with it.

Have you spoken to your lot about doing the cooking themselves Lizzie?

[retropants]

Oh I dream of coming home to a lovely home-cooked meal one day!
I agree with Chantal, have a word with your little darlings! You certainly can't expect them to eat meat once in a while if they are veggies, why should they? but they should give you the night off sometimes, and let you cook just for yourself when the fancy takes you too!

[Shallot Man]

Lizzie. I suppose you could blind fold them at meals. shallotman

[lizzie]

In fairness, the Old Man does do the washing up and thinks nothing of tidying round, polishing etc. I'm not forcing them to eat meat, far from it. My attitude is, if I sometimes need to cook 2 meals cos I want to eat meat, I don't see why you can't too.

I just think it's one sided. I've had a word with him and, for the past 6 weekends, he's been going to cook. When it comes to it, he hasn't done it. When I ask why i get the response "well, you're better at it than me so it will be really horrible"

Think i'll have a t-shirt made with the slogan "Oh bother, said Liz, as she slowly basted the veggie"

[Chantal]

Think i'll have a t-shirt made with the slogan "Oh bother, said Liz, as she slowly basted the veggie"

Try one that says

"Oh bother, said Liz, as she slowly basted Big Andrew"

[oldherbaceous]

Dear Lizzie, can you not employ a house keeper as we do in Befordshire.

You will forget all this when Big Andrew brings your cooked breakfast up to you Sunday morning.