What do you think?

[richard p]

i upset one years ago when i asked her if she was a furry animal or the health freak variety, somehow romance went out the window at that point

[Di]

Many of my friends are veggie, varying from the half hearted to these who are utterly revolted by meat. The more extreme one made a comparison with shit, would you eat something that had touched it, or prepare it for someone else who liked it? Not claiming thats really rational, but clearly not an equal exchange for her to be disgusted at touching meat, while I'm perfectly happy to cook anything.

I've done dinner parties where most of it was vegan and sugar free, and then one meat dish. Addmittedly its not the same as the drudge of day in day out feeding a family.

[lizzie]

JB has hit the nail on the old wotsit......that is how I feel.

My son has never liked meat, even as a baby which is fair enough. He'll eat anything veggie I put in front of him without a murmer of dissent. I can cope with that side of it. I don't like offal and am allergic to prawns and shellfish so wouldn't serve those to myself.

It's the moral arguement that gets me. I feel morally hard done by because there is no give and take with my moral conscience. It's all one sided. How many veggie dinner parties have you been to where carcass crunchers were catered for? If you have guests you have to cater for their tastes too. It's the rules of hospitality.

We're having a party here in May for my old Mums birthday. There will be plenty to eat for both veggies and carcass crunchers. They usually take doggy bags home I cook so much stuff. It's a matter of pride that no-one leaves my house hungry.

I feel that we should eat meat to support the farming/fishing industry in this country that is being systematically shafted by Brussels. I feel it's our moral obligation. There are millions in this world who are starving from lack of food so I find the fact that i'm moralised to very offensive.

***** I'm now going to hide as I think i may have strayed a little off point ***************

[Catherine]

I must admit that when I have friends to dinner I ask them what the dont like to make sure that I dont cook something they would not be able to eat. They do the same to us. I have IBS so there are quite a few things I can't eat. They understand that so the do cater for that.

When I was small, quite a long time ago. I was taught that you ate what was put in front of you no matter what it was and even if it was something you did not like. My kids did the same. Though now my grown up daughter never eats casseroles she hates them but when she was growing up she had no choice she ate what I cooked. My granddaughter is the same she eats everything that is put in front of her and when she is old enough to make her own meals she can decide what she eats or doesn't. Well thats my penny worth to this subject anyway.

[JohnN]

Neither my wife or I are veggies, but we do often enjoy a veggie meal made from garden produce. Lizzie, I thnk you are taking the "moral" side of this a bit too seriously, but one way of getting round your problem would be to make a whole load of various veggie dishes (ratatouille is one), freeze them and when the time comes just do yourself some meat to go with the veggies? I have a freezer full of
dishes I've cooked from garden stuff, and we just add them to whatever we fancy - pasta, beef mince, roast pheasant etc etc.
John N

[richard p]

whatever moral arguments there are for not killing animals to eat, the plain truth is if we were all veggy there would be no cows, sheep, pigs , chicken,turkeys, pheasants etc arround anyway. at least by eating them we are ensuring survival of the species.

[mandylew]

My Husband is not veggie, although i am, I dont cook meat, he eats it at work or if we go out, same with the kids they get vegetarian at home and if they want to eat meat at parties, school dinners they could, but they have come round to my way of thinking except the youngest, who asks for meat if we go out, "do you want chicken, fishy, cow or sheep" i say and she says "no I don't want animals, I want meat"! I guess if my husband made a big protest about it it would be allowed at home so long as he cooked his own. For our carniverous guests we usually get in a takeaway so everyone is happy. It is a long standing dinner party joke that the cats eat better than he does (and the other one is that my allotment is tidyer than the house)

Why dont you have a big meat cook/in freeze in small portions for yourself, I'm sure your family are not offended by you wanting to eat meat yourself, but i think expecting them to do so is unacceptable.

[PLUMPUDDING]

Have you thought about sending out for a takeaway? You choose what you want and the others can have vegetarian, then let your partner pay for it all. It might be an incentive for him to do the cooking occasionally.

[lizzie]

Once again, i'm not expecting them to eat meat. Just a bit of give and take. If everyone stopped eating meat, that would be the end of so many products that we take for granted, and the increase in genetically modified stuff (think that's the right phrase) Things like gelatin, glue, dog and cat food, other animal feeds. Plus, the whole eco structure would break down. What would happen to all the little bugs and grubs that help to break stuff down? An increase in horseflies biting humans cos there's no animals for the buggers to bite. It's a scary thought.

Big Andrew cooked tonight. At least he has now made an effort so fair play. There has been a promise of doing some weekend cooking, but we'll see what happens. I have heard this before so i'll see if he does it. He did say that he hadn't realised I felt so strongly about it. Fair enough.

Plum Pudding - We don't eat takeaways..... if I can't see the kitchen I won't eat from anywhere.

[vivienz]

Sorry to hear about the 'reluctant' cooks in your house, Lizzie. I like the idea of direct action, though. Why not make sure you have a few evenings' supplies for just you and only cook your own meal, and leave the others to fend for themselves in whatever way is suitable? I'm sure once they see you tucking in for a few evenings on whatever you really want to eat, their thinking should start to turn.
Best wishes,
Vivien (confirmed carnivore)

[Gilly C]

I like Viv's idea !
I think some of the others are missing the point that you cook for the veggies but they do not cook for you !!
keeep battling on, Good luck !

[Chantal]

I think the problem is that if someone is a vegetarian because of conscience then even handling meat is against everything they believe in.

A meat eater doesn't usually have the same isssues about "murdering" vegetables, so it's easy for a meat eater to prepare vegetarian dishes.

That said, I totally sympathise with Lizzie and feel she should make them cook their own and has been suggested earier, she could grill a chop or steak and add it to their vegetable offering.

On the other hand, if they're not conscience vegetarians, there's no excuse at all.

[Johnboy]

Hi Mandy,
It seems another case of taking without giving and I feel that you letter is an example of extreme selfishness. I feel that this malarkey goes too far.
As regards people who cannot even touch meat well I suggest that they simply grow up!
Now I appreciate that this appears to be exceedingly rude but I feel that it has got to be said.
JB.

[Shallot Man]

Hi Mandy's problem brought back memories of some 35 yrs ago, the Memsahib went away with the school for a week , I had a week off work to look after No's 1 Son & Daughter. breakfast went without a hitch. Lunch we ate out, dished up dinner, Daughter said I don't like chicken, Son wanted roast potatoes, so I put both plates in the oven and sat down to watch the telly, within half an hour we had no more problems for the remainder of the week. Though I must admit when the Memsahib returned and the two rascals had made a full report, things for a while were on the frosty side. shallotman

[PLUMPUDDING]

Hi Lizzie, We usually eat fresh from the garden (plus meat or fish) but I thought the takeaway would teach him a lesson!!!.

You could cook fresh meat for yourself and get the takeway for your partner to be really mean, but that would have you cooking anyway - oh dear. You'll just have to go away for a week again and leave them to it.