Someone hold me back...

[Primrose]

Never mind Chantal. You're not alone. I've grown dozens of delicious Mini cucumbers this summer and my beloved husband arrived back from shopping with - guess what? Two cucumber halves!
Why on earth did you buy them?" I asked. We've got loads of home grown cucumbers here."
"Well", he replied "They were giving them away free with every packet of tomatoes you buy".

Have to admit, I didn't have an answer for that one. But the shop cucumbers weren't a patch on mine !!

[Wellie]

Primrose - you've not put your proverbial foot in it and just admitted to us all that you never grew your own tomatoes this year, SURELY !

[Primrose]

Honest, cross my heart ! I have grown 58 lbs of tomatoes this year from 25 plants but this was back in early August when none of mine had yet ripened, apart from a couple of early Gardener's Delight.
It breaks my heart having to buy shop tomatoes when I have green ones on the plants but unfortunately, without a greenhouse, I just have to wait for nature.

[Mike Vogel]

I have to admit it, Chantal, but I'm a bit like that. Not to the extent of buying anything unnecessarily, but my poor long-suffering Sue has to stand on a chair and shout MIKE at me if she wants me to take any notice of her. Being a little hard of hearing [not enough for an excuse!], if I'm in the other room or thinking about something else, her words go round, rather than through, my ears.

Be gentle with the old chap, Chantal. Just shout TIM in 40-point and then tell him what you need to. I'm not saying that it will work, but it's a tactic. Perhaps he's just excited about the impending nuptials.

Best wishes and good luck

mike

[Sue]

My other half says it's not his fault when he doesn't hear me - it's cos he's concentrating on something and as we all know men can't do more than 2 things at a time & 1 of them is breathing He says if I try and make him listen to me as well, he'll have to stop breathing and that's just plain dangerous I'm so blown away with the simple logic of that one I haven't thought up a suitable argument against it yet

Sue

[seedling]

Sue - the temptation to call his bluff sometimes must be almost overwhelming
My other half says that he is listening but if I keep "mumbling" then he cant be expected to be able to repeat what I said when asked. HUH!
Seedling

[Allan]

Ladies, from what I hear the male of the species are usually noted for hating shopping so count yourselves lucky. I like shopping but particularly when I spot a genuine bargain or something we have been wanting for ages but never could find. DW sometimes fails to return with the most wanted item, the usual cure for that is a shopping list which works well until the list is lost on the way out.
Regarding the tomato dilemma, we freeze the surplus from one season to carry us through to the start of the next, this year we had a gap of 1 day without tomato which is near enough for me. I have to admit I haven't done as well on lettuce but a new regime is now in place which should remove the necessity to buy from Tesco.
Allan

[Piglet]

Chanters you could instill the following trauma that was infliced upon new recruits when I served Your Majesty.

it was called "pain related learning".

I think you can work it out but it certainly worked. You can buy cattle prods off Ebay if required.

[Chantal]

Thanks for all the suggestions guys; I've taken these on board. So, now when I want him to actually LISTEN to me, as opposed to just LOOKING as if he's listening to me, I need to do the following:

1. Turn off the TV, remove the newspaper, etc
2. Stand in front of him and shout TIM.
3. Impart message.
4. Get him to repeat the message to make sure it's understood.
5. Use a cattle prod to reinforce the message if necessary.

Much as I hate to say this, my life is too short and if Tim misses the football because I'm chuntering on about potatoes it could be even shorter!

Perhaps just the cattle prod would be quicker.

[richard p]

come off it girls, have ever finished something properly whilst "multi tasking"

guess id better get off to the shed (known as the doghouse to certain parties) and look for the tin hat

im off to fell some trees that have grown upto the electric lines, got a flimsy metal fence the other side , so have to drop them allong the hedge line, any suggestiona for what i should be multitasking at whilst weilding the chainsaw??

[Chantal]

I finish off EVERYTHING properly thank you Richard. Including men who insult my abilities to do this.

Using a chainsaw is probably one task that should be given single minded attention though so, being a bloke it should cause you no problems really...

[Piglet]

They might be able to multi task Richard but most of them can't parallel park.

[Chantal]

Well I flippin' well can, and better than most of the blokes I see bogging it up outside my office. My dad taught me.

[Piglet]

I refer to my use of the word "most" as a caveat Chanters.

Anyway, I am suprised you can find reverse in your car.

[richard p]

come to think of it we can remove spiders from baths whilst laughing does that count as multi tasking?

talking of parking, my wife never does at home, just abandons the car somewhere on the drive, weve got room for about 8 cars but not if the wife gets home first, its amazing how much room one car takes up in the middle at a crazy angle