Indeed! Most posted by hypochondriacs!
Westi
New joke thread to cheer you all up
Moderators: KG Steve, Chantal, Tigger, peter, Chief Spud
-
Primrose
- KG Regular
- Posts: 8063
- Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2006 8:50 pm
- Location: Bucks.
- Has thanked: 41 times
- Been thanked: 290 times
Our nephew is a GP. He says it's surprising the number of patients who come in and tell him exactly what medical condition they've got and just want him to write out a prescription for x y z. medication. I can see him buying a supply of these mugs to hand out 
-
WestHamRon
- KG Regular
- Posts: 376
- Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2006 6:46 pm
- Location: Grays, Essex
A Christmas ditty I sent in my cards about 30 years ago.
There's a Wonderful Old Man who's trick
Is climbing down chimneys, stone or brick
So damp down your fire
Lest he should acquire
A nasty burn on his foot.
An alternative I just made up.
There's a Dodgy Geezer called Nick
Who shins down chimneys double quick
That may well explain
The incredible pain
From the burns that appear on his knees
There's a Wonderful Old Man who's trick
Is climbing down chimneys, stone or brick
So damp down your fire
Lest he should acquire
A nasty burn on his foot.
An alternative I just made up.
There's a Dodgy Geezer called Nick
Who shins down chimneys double quick
That may well explain
The incredible pain
From the burns that appear on his knees
-
Primrose
- KG Regular
- Posts: 8063
- Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2006 8:50 pm
- Location: Bucks.
- Has thanked: 41 times
- Been thanked: 290 times
Keep sharp in retirement!
As we slowly move toward- through (or into) retirement, we need to keep occupied with small projects.
Like this guy!
I know, I saw it right away too....
No safety glasses or hearing protection.
And I caught something else that is really important: He has no gloves on.
I might be getting older but I am still as sharp as a tack!
--
As we slowly move toward- through (or into) retirement, we need to keep occupied with small projects.
Like this guy!
I know, I saw it right away too....
No safety glasses or hearing protection.
And I caught something else that is really important: He has no gloves on.
I might be getting older but I am still as sharp as a tack!
--
- Attachments
-
- image.jpg (185.53 KiB) Viewed 3505 times
-
oldherbaceous
- KG Regular
- Posts: 13861
- Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2006 1:52 pm
- Location: Beautiful Bedfordshire
- Has thanked: 282 times
- Been thanked: 316 times
I know they are identical twins but, you would have thought one of them would have had a little sense..... 
Kind Regards, Old Herbaceous.
There's no fool like an old fool.
There's no fool like an old fool.
-
alan refail
- KG Regular
- Posts: 7252
- Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:00 am
- Location: Chwilog Gogledd Orllewin Cymru Northwest Wales
- Been thanked: 5 times
What a p***k 
Or maybe not a .......
Or maybe not a .......
Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
-
Motherwoman
- KG Regular
- Posts: 1000
- Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 6:03 am
- Location: Isle of Wight
Darwinian selection at it's ...sharpest?
One special for Pa Snip
- mind readers.jpg (39.62 KiB) Viewed 3451 times
Once the game is over the king and the pawn go back in the same box. Anonymous
Exploring is like walking, where the walking decides where we're going. Bob the dinosaur from dinopaws
Exploring is like walking, where the walking decides where we're going. Bob the dinosaur from dinopaws
-
peter
- KG Regular
- Posts: 5845
- Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:54 pm
- Location: Near Stansted airport
- Has thanked: 18 times
- Been thanked: 36 times
- Contact:
Do not put off thanking people when they have helped you, as they may not be there to thank later.
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
I support http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/
-
alan refail
- KG Regular
- Posts: 7252
- Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:00 am
- Location: Chwilog Gogledd Orllewin Cymru Northwest Wales
- Been thanked: 5 times
peter wrote:http://gu.com/p/4fcqd/sbl
Condoms with a postnatal effect!
Talk about a blow job!
Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
-
Primrose
- KG Regular
- Posts: 8063
- Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2006 8:50 pm
- Location: Bucks.
- Has thanked: 41 times
- Been thanked: 290 times
NEW USB MEMORY STICK FOR SENIORS
Soon it will be compulsory for the elderly to not only carry ID with them, but also copies of their
health insurance and medical papers, their list of current medications and a compact version of
their medical history, their personal preferences about resuscitation should they suffer cardiac
arrest, etc. The list of required information is growing by the day ... . .
So when a Senior Citizen wishes to go out, they really need to carry a lot of information with them
in a readily available and convenient format should an emergency arise. And that’s why this special
USB memory stick has just been created for Seniors.
With this new device, they will always have such key information available in an emergency.
Available soon, but only on prescription . . . Talk to your Medical Practitioner today . . . ...
Soon it will be compulsory for the elderly to not only carry ID with them, but also copies of their
health insurance and medical papers, their list of current medications and a compact version of
their medical history, their personal preferences about resuscitation should they suffer cardiac
arrest, etc. The list of required information is growing by the day ... . .
So when a Senior Citizen wishes to go out, they really need to carry a lot of information with them
in a readily available and convenient format should an emergency arise. And that’s why this special
USB memory stick has just been created for Seniors.
With this new device, they will always have such key information available in an emergency.
Available soon, but only on prescription . . . Talk to your Medical Practitioner today . . . ...
- image.jpg (23.63 KiB) Viewed 3421 times
-
alan refail
- KG Regular
- Posts: 7252
- Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:00 am
- Location: Chwilog Gogledd Orllewin Cymru Northwest Wales
- Been thanked: 5 times
Jerry Hall & Rupert Murdoch engaged.
If there's one thing that appeals to Jerry more than ugly multi-millionaires it's ugly multi-billionaires.
If there's one thing that appeals to Jerry more than ugly multi-millionaires it's ugly multi-billionaires.
Cred air o bob deg a glywi, a thi a gei rywfaint bach o wir (hen ddihareb Gymraeg)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
Believe one tenth of what you hear, and you will get some little truth (old Welsh proverb)
